In case you missed it, satire was officially declared dead this past week:

After former House Speaker John Boehner on Wednesday called the current Republican presidential candidate “Lucifer in the flesh,” saying he found it difficult to work with him, staunch Satanists decried the comparison.

“Having a conservative Christian likened to Lucifer — one who opposes equal rights for same sex couples and promotes the ability to deny services to any with different values — we Satanists see as besmirching the positive, heroic aspects of that character as portrayed by Milton in his epic ‘Paradise Lost,’” Magus Peter Howard Gilmore, the high priest of The Church of Satan, said in a statement.

Lucien Greaves, a spokesman and co-founder for the Satanic Temple, told ABC News he thinks Cruz engages in “clearly deplorable behavior” and that Boehner’s comments were “thoughtless and ignorant.”

My reaction:

**Written by Doug Powers

Wow, this is kind of like Michael Moore accusing you of being unkempt:

And if anybody knows “loathsome,” it’s PP’s top brass.

**Written by Doug Powers

Twitter @ThePowersThatBe

If you wanted to tell somebody what ingredients they’d need in order to cook up their own version of the Obama administration, the recipe would be “one cup obtuseness combined with one cup gullibility, stirred in thoroughly with a pound of arrogance.” Bake that for an hour and this is what you get…

The White House rhetoric in the past couple of weeks:

Sunday, just before Obama’s plane landed in Cuba:

The Obama administration will technically see no problem: The White House said their position was “non-negotiable,” and the Castro regime rounded up dissidents before Obama could visit with them, all without negotiation.

At this rate, by the time Obama comes back the Castros will own Miami.

Enough said:


This is a room at one of the Whole Woman’s Health clinics where “holistic abortions” are performed. Notice the quote on the wall:

What better place for this lyric to a Patti LeBelle song than on a wall next to where abortions are performed:

All I can tell you really is if you get to the point where someone is telling you that you are not great or not good enough, just follow your heart and don’t let anybody crush your dream.

Too bad the babies in that room don’t live long enough to read those words of wisdom.

So is this really going to be the Republican nominee who will offer an enticing and principled alternative to Hillary?

“Look, Planned Parenthood has done very good work for many, many — for millions of women,” Trump said in a news conference Tuesday night. “And I’ll say it, and I know a lot of the so-called conservatives, they say that’s really … cause I’m a conservative, but I’m a common-sense conservative.”

Trump said he would not fund Planned Parenthood “as long as you have the abortion going on,” but noted the “millions of people — and I’ve had thousands of letters from women — that have been helped.”

“So called conservatives” even got the finger quote treatment — and Christie behind Trump looks like he’s waiting to ask for directions to the bus stop:

Hillary’s probably at 1600 Penn measuring for curtains (again) as we speak.

Planned Parenthood doesn’t seem moved by Trump’s recent acquiescence:

The Republican convention this summer might be anything but boring.

The headline writes itself: “Giant ass seeks larger seats”:

A U.S. senator is demanding an end to the ever-shrinking plane seats as he complains airlines are squeezing passengers onto planes ‘like sardines’.

Airlines seats have been shrinking for decades as airlines try to squeeze every millimeter of profit from each flight. From a relatively roomy 35 inches of legroom and 18-inch-wide seats in the 1970s, today, cramped passengers can expect an average legroom of just 31 inches and 16.5-inch-wide seats.

But fed-up flyers may have their prayers answered, if a new law requiring seat-size guidelines gets approval.

U.S. Sen. Charles Schumer is adding an amendment to the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) Reauthorization Bill, which is pending before Congress.

Currently, there are no federal limits on how close an airline’s row of seats can be or how wide an airline’s seat must be.

As Schumer demonstrated a few years ago, sometimes the annoying thing about air travel isn’t the size of the seat, but the size of the jackass sitting in it.

(h/t Weasel Zippers)

Progressive hypocrite Alan Grayson’s under House ethics investigation for running a hedge fund that was located on the Cayman Islands all while he was back in the halls of Congress blasting companies that take advantage of offshore tax shelters.

Grayson’s also returned to his old accusations about Republicans:

Republicans want people who get sick to die quickly in the streets?

Hilarious, considering the business model of the Grayson fund:

Interviews and the documents show that Mr. Grayson told potential investors in his hedge fund that they should contribute money to the fund to capitalize on the unrest he observed around the world, and to take particular advantage when there was “blood in the streets.”

Project much, Alan?

This is really all she’s got, and so far it’s been good enough, which is amazing:

The United States is not a single-issue country, Hillary Clinton told CNN’s “State of the Union” on Sunday. She said she wants to “knock down all the barriers that are holding people back.”

“Of course, a lot of it is economic, and it needs to be addressed. That’s why I’m not only against bad things, and I want to stop them. I want to start some good things, more good-paying jobs with rising incomes again; once and for all making sure women get equal pay for the work we do; doing more to help small business; going after clean, renewable energy, especially in a state like Nevada, where it should be the solar capital of the West.”

That’s now a part of her campaign rhetoric, and it’s even more ridiculous when she says it wrong:

Smartest woman in the world, ladies and gentlemen!

Maybe she’s just nervous because the footsteps behind her are getting louder.

There’s a reason some of the wealthiest counties in the U.S. are those near Washington, D.C., and part of the reason is the government’s creativity when it comes to excuses for spending our money:

The National Institutes of Health spent over $10 million to address gender disparities in research — among mice.

“There’s been a male tilt to biomedical research for a long time,” according to a report published by NPR. “The National Institutes of Health is trying to change that and is looking to bring gender balance all the way down to the earliest stages of research. As a condition of NIH funding, researchers will now have to include female and male animals in their biomedical studies.”

The agency announced in 2014 it would spend $10.1 million for scientists to “add a sex/gender lens to their currently funded research projects.”

Those who object to millions in taxpayer dollars being spent in such a way will be addressed by a separate $10 million dollar program to shame “mice sexists” in society.