Feb

8

Generous Obama Offers to Give Republicans One Last Chance to Get Voted Out of Office

Filed Under Health Care, Politics | Leave a Comment

President Obama, sensing that nobody in America wants anything to do with a health care plan designed by anybody in Washington or the surrounding suburbs, townships, villages and hamlets, has graciously invited Republicans to a meeting designed to culminate in them getting voted out of office.

From the New York Times:

WASHINGTON — President Obama said Sunday that he would convene a half-day bipartisan health care session at the White House to be televised live this month, a high-profile gambit that will allow Americans to watch as Democrats and Republicans try to break their political impasse.

Mr. Obama made the announcement in an interview on CBS during the Super Bowl pre-game show, capitalizing on a vast television audience. He set out a plan that would put Republicans on the spot to offer their own ideas on health care and show whether both sides are willing to work together.

I’ll give Obama credit for the strategy, if that’s what you can call it. He realizes that his health care plan is as popular as John Edwards at Elizabeth’s family reunion, but Democrats are incapable of giving up on the power and money grab, so the only hope is to try and pressure Republicans into getting on board so they’ll get voted out along with Democrats and it’ll all be a wash.

Coakley’s loss combined with the polling plunge of many pro-Obamacare Dems does little to motivate many Democrats to attend Obama’s televised meeting, let alone Republicans.

Obama’s “bipartisan session” offer comes across a little like Hirohito boarding the USS Missouri to tell General MacArthur, “Okay Doug, we’ve decided to give you just one more chance.”

Any Republican member of Congress who goes to this televised circus to do anything other than laugh and leave deserves to be voted out.

The only question that should be asked of Obama and the Dems is “How come you want all the arm-twisting televised but don’t want to televise the nuts and bolts construction of the actual health care bill where all the back room deals are made?”

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Feb

8

What Else Was Written On Sarah Palin’s Hand? Update: ‘Hi Mom!’

Filed Under Humor, Politics | 12 Comments

The political left went bat-guano after it was discovered that Sarah Palin had a few words written on her left hand during her speech and Q & A at the Tea Party Convention over the weekend:

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Palin writes six words on her hand for a 40 minute speech and she’s a moron, and Obama loads a pre-written 10,000 word speech into a teleprompter, pronounces “corpsman” as “corpse-man” — twice — and he’s an oratorical genius?

That aside, what nobody seems to have noticed so far is that from time to time during Sarah’s Tea Party Convention speech, the message on her hand changed. I think she was just messing with liberals heads. Here are some screen caps I managed to catch at several different points in Sarah’s speech:

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Update: No sooner did I suggest that Palin write on her hand some more to mock her critics, I found out that she did that very thing just yesterday. Here she is at a rally for Rick Perry for Governor — “Hi mom”:

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Heh heh. Brilliant.

Predicted spin from the left who still don’t get it: “Palin’s so stupid she had to write herself a reminder to say hi to her mom! lol!”

Update II: Andrea Mitchell steals Sarah’s schtick. Instead why don’t you just read from that huge prompter in front of your face, Andrea?

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Feb

8

And the ‘Best Timing for a Resignation Speech’ Award Goes To…

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…Former Democratic lieutenant governor candidate Scott Lee Cohen:

Democratic lieutenant governor candidate Scott Lee Cohen, a Chicago pawnbroker whose surprise primary win last week was followed by scandalous revelations about his troubled past with a prostitute ex-girlfriend, said Sunday night he would quit as nominee.

“For the good of the people … I will resign,” a tearful Cohen told reporters at a news conference he chose to hold at a Far North Side bar during halftime of the Super Bowl.

Why did Cohen choose halftime of the Super Bowl to resign? Because the 4th of July fireworks show over Chicago or the 7th-inning stretch of the World Series aren’t for months, and that’s too long to wait.

Hopefully The Who was playing “Won’t Get Fooled Again” when he resigned — a song that should be the taxpayers’ anthem heading into the November elections.

You know, things like this could stain the good name of Chicago politics.

Feb

8

The Obama Curse is Lifted! Plus, Those Horribly Offensive Tebow Ads

Filed Under Politics, Sports | Leave a Comment

You know, I actually feel good that the Obama Curse has been lifted. The president was 0-5 in campaign endorsements/sports related picks, so I had to go with the odds and choose Indianapolis after he picked the Saints to win.

It was getting hard to watch, but Obama finally pulled one out. Good news for Harry Reid? We’ll see after Obama visits Nevada later this month.

On a separate note, how about those horribly offensive Tim Tebow ads? He tackled his own mother in one of them, which of course prompted some to complain of the “violence against moms” in the ad. Yeah, Tim Tebow should have been violently ripped from the uterus and murdered so he wasn’t alive years later to fake tackle his mom in a benign advertisement for life.

Here’s the other Tebow ad. How terribly offensive. What’s this world coming to?

Feb

7

Maybe if Palin Would Have Used a Teleprompter and Empty Platitudes the AP Would Have Liked Her Speech; Update: Obama’s Teleprompter vs. Palin’s Palm Pilot

Filed Under Media, Politics | 6 Comments

If you read Associated Press writer Liz Sidoti’s story on Sarah Palin’s speech at the Tea Party Convention in Nashville, you might have noticed that she made it almost a half dozen words before criticizing the 40-minute speech as empty:

NASHVILLE, Tenn. – Sarah Palin, in a speech that was short on ideas but big on enthusiasm, took aim at President Barack Obama and the Democrats, telling a gathering of “tea party” activists that America is ripe for another revolution.

And then a reminder later in the same story, in case you missed it in the first paragraph:

“Let us not get bogged down in the small squabbles. Let us get caught up in the big ideas,” she said, though she offered few of her own.

Wrongo, Liz, Palin offered plenty of ideas… just none that you liked.

And to top it off, here’s the photo the AP ran with the story… the only thing missing is Photoshopped blood dripping from fangs in her mouth:

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“GRRRRR! Sarah Palin wants blooood!”

On the other side of the MSM coin, read this story concerning Liz Sidoti’s piece about Barack Obama — a story so sickeningly sweet that it will give you diabetes if you’re not careful.

Here’s Palin’s entire speech from last night. If there’s anything “empty” about this, it’s the stage, because you’ll notice that it’s completely devoid of teleprompters — a fact that of course escaped the AP’s notice:

Update: Scandal! Palin apparently had a few words written on her hand, which makes her stupid and a hypocrite or something like that:

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The left is mocking, but if anything it’s only about one-percent as funny as this scene, but I realize that the ability to find the humor in these things usually falls along party lines, so in the spirit of bipartisanship, let’s call it a draw:

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(h/t Newsbusters)

Feb

6

Super Bowl Prediction(s)

Filed Under Media, Politics, Sports | 9 Comments

Super Bowl XLIV is almost upon us, and for the XLIVth straight year, I’m not stressed out about how the Lions will perform in the Super Bowl.

Here are a few predictions about not only the game, but the event as a whole:

–The Colts will beat the Saints. My reasoning is based on two factors: The Peyton Manning to Reggie Wayne combination will prove too much for the Saints to handle, but mostly because President Obama picked the Saints to win:

Ooh, sorry Saints, but you’ve just been Obama Cursed.

A couple other predictions:

–Right in the middle of Katie Couric’s interview with President Obama during pre-game coverage (CBS is finally doing something about Obama’s under-exposure), CBS News will lay off the cameraman, along with a boom-mic operator and the lighting director, leaving Couric to take over all jobs except the latter. A giddy Couric will claim that the lighting director job wasn’t necessary anyway because Obama is the light.

–Obama will tell Couric about his high school football days, including the time his teleprompter blocked the opponents’ potential game-winning field goal.

–As The Who is performing at halftime, Pete Townshend will fall off the stage and right on top of a 12-year-old child. Townshend will claim that he was only doing “research” on the effect of gravity on aging rock stars and juveniles. Some will suspect the White House staged the incident after President Obama just happens to be present to take over on guitar for Townshend.

–Government ethics investigators will be asked to look into the Census Bureau’s Super Bowl ad, for which the Bureau spent $2.5 million taxpayer dollars. The ad will feature Ed Begley, Jr. informing you of the upcoming census and letting you know that if you donate $250,000 tax-deductable dollars to ACORN, President Obama will personally come to your house and count your family.

Feb

6

Yikes: Obama Sells Obamacare By Talking About Cancer Victim Buried in an Obama Shirt

Filed Under Health Care, Politics | 2 Comments

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Speaking Friday in front of DNC and Organizing for America members Friday and pitching his health care plan, Barack Obama set the gold standard for macabre narcissism:

And what may be a lasting anecdote for the president’s push on health care reform – Mr. Obama told for the first time a story about a woman in St. Louis who had been part of his campaign.

She couldn’t afford health insurance and put off her exams. After a tough battle for four years, throughout the campaign. She died 5 days ago.

“She insisted that she is going to be buried in an Obama t-shirt,” Obama said, “She was fighting that whole time not just to get me elected, not even to get herself health care, but because she understood that there were others coming behind her who were going to find themselves in the situation. And he didn’t want others going through that something.”

Israpundit found a confirmation of this hellaciously masturbatory ego-stroke in the St. Louis Post Dispatch.

How long until we see Organizing for America hawking Obama t-shirts at cancer wards and funeral homes?

Update: Justine in comments reminds us that this might have something to do with why Obama says “corpse-man” instead of “corpsman”:

Feb

5

In S. Carolina, If You Plan on Overthrowing the Government, You Must Pay the Government a $5 Registration Fee

Filed Under Nat'l Security, Politics | 5 Comments

Sometimes real-life plays out like a remake of Dr. Strangelove, but even more bizarre.

South Carolina recently passed a law that says if you run a “subversive organization” in that state and have designs on overthrowing the government, you must pay $5 to register your organization with the government you’re planning to overthrow:

The state’s “Subversive Activities Registration Act,” passed last year and now officially on the books, states that “every member of a subversive organization, or an organization subject to foreign control, every foreign agent and every person who advocates, teaches, advises or practices the duty, necessity or propriety of controlling, conducting, seizing or overthrowing the government of the United States … shall register with the Secretary of State.”

There’s even a $5 filing fee.

By “subversive organization,” the law means “every corporation, society, association, camp, group, bund, political party, assembly, body or organization, composed of two or more persons, which directly or indirectly advocates, advises, teaches or practices the duty, necessity or propriety of controlling, conducting, seizing or overthrowing the government of the United States [or] of this State.”

After you overthrow them, you can get your five bucks back.

And what if you attempt to overthrow the government without having first registered under the “Subversive Activities Registration Act”?

Any organization or person who violates any of the provisions of this chapter shall, upon conviction thereof, be punished by a fine of not more than twenty-five thousand dollars or imprisonment for not more than ten years, or by both fine and imprisonment.

Ah, but if you succeed in overthrowing the government, you don’t need to worry about the fine and jail.

It’s not very wise of the government to provide extra incentive for a successful overthrow of the government, but then… it’s the government we’re talking about.

Odds are that any group who wants to overthrow the government but that also pays the $5 registration fee to that same government isn’t very serious about their plan.

Feb

5

‘Scott Brown, You’ve Just Won Ted Kennedy’s Senate Seat, What Are You Gonna Do Next?’ — ‘I’m Going to the Bar!’

Filed Under Politics | 1 Comment

Considering who Brown is replacing, this seems only appropriate:

Scott Brown’s first stop after being sworn into the Senate Thursday afternoon — the Dubliner.

An ITK spy spotted the Republican senator from Massachusetts sitting near the window of the popular Capitol Hill watering hole at 6:45 p.m., less than an hour after Vice President Joe Biden finished administering the oath of office.

Brown was drinking Guinness and being serenaded by Irish tenor John McDermott, according to our spy.

It may be a long night for the new senator: Brown’s supporters were planning a celebration at the Union Pub later on.

Hopefully Senator Brown doesn’t get so loaded that he wakes up on the morning and realizes that he voted for Obamacare.

On a different note, here’s Joe Biden just after Brown’s swearing in saying he wants to talk to Brown about his daughters. Damn, this would be a lot funnier if Bill Clinton had said it:

Feb

5

The Kennedy Dynasty Continues to Sink

Filed Under Politics | 1 Comment

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Patrick Kennedy, who once famously said “I’ve never worked a f—–g day in my life,” may have to think about getting an actual job one of these days. These are the kind of “sudden stop” polling numbers that would give any politician whiplash:

The Kennedy political dynasty is shaking in the aftershock of U.S. Sen. Scott Brown’s earth-shattering election, with a new poll showing U.S. Rep. Patrick Kennedy losing ground as he faces a well-financed GOP foe backed by Brown’s top strategists.

The WPRI-12 poll showed the Rhode Island Democrat with a 56 percent unfavorability rating in his district – a negative that grows to 62 percent statewide.

Only 35 percent of voters in Kennedy’s district said they would vote to re-elect him. Another 31 percent said they’d consider a different candidate and 28 percent said they would vote to replace him, according to the poll.

Patrick’s in a dead heat with “genital herpes” in the latest popularity poll. Kennedy’s numbers are so bad that before you know it the Catholic church in Rhode Island will be banning Patrick from communion. What? Oh, nevermind.

Recent events will probably keep other Kennedys from entering politics as well. Last year Ted Kennedy, Jr. was asked if he had decided whether or not to run for public office, and he replied “I haven’t crossed that bridge yet.” Um, okaayy. I’ll take that as a “no” then.

But driving skill genetics aside, Scott Brown’s win and Patrick Kennedy’s decline might force the whole family completely out of politics and back into bootlegging booze.

Update: Patrick Kennedy says that Scott Brown’s election is “a joke.” Obviously Patrick hasn’t seen the above polling number yet or he’d be distracted by an even funnier one.