Jul

3

Introducing Burger King’s New ‘Double Innuendo’ Sandwich

Filed Under Culture |  |

Looks like somebody at BK’s ad agency in Singapore could use a little saltpeter in their Snapple:

null

I understand the concept that “sex sells,” but, speaking strictly for myself, I’m far less likely to buy a sandwich if the ad for it gives the impression that “it’s just like sucking a dick.”

That BK ad isn’t quite as classy as this old cigarette ad, but it’s close:

null

(h/t Jenn)

Jul

2

Do Women See Mark Sanford’s Mistress in the Mirror?

Filed Under Culture, Politics |  |

Meghan Daum has an opinion column in the Los Angeles Times today under the following title: Do men see Mark Sanford in the mirror?

Here’s the closer:

No one’s excusing Sanford’s behavior. But as we slog through another week of the Jackson postmortem-paloooza and wonder at the fact that we’re also still hearing about the South Carolina governor’s love for certain tan lines, maybe it’s worth asking ourselves why. Is it because we’re uncategorically appalled? Or is it because maybe, just maybe, there’s a tiny bit of Mark Sanford in, if not all men, quite a few of them? And that’s more than you can say of Michael Jackson.

Are all men, at the core, Mark Sanford?

That’s a fair enough question as long as it’s followed up. Since Ms. Daum is one of those who’s also guilty of keeping the Sanford story alive, we can’t answer her question without simultaneously answering this one: Is there a tiny bit of María Belén Chapur in, if not all women, quite a few of them?

In other words, Meghan, “it takes two to bango.”

Jul

2

CNN Tackles the Tough Stories Again: Where’s Bubbles?

Filed Under Moonbats, Politics |  |

Thank God CNN asked and answered one of the questions that had been consuming me ever since I heard about the death of Michael Jackson:

null

Yes, that’s right, as soon as Jackson expired, a visibly upset CNN — as Congress votes to spend the U.S. into further oblivion, a war rages on overseas, Iran is in complete disarray and a mentally ill midget in North Korea threatens to shoot bottle rockets toward Hawaii — asked the obvious question: “Where is Bubbles?”

Don’t worry, CNN tracked down a no-doubt emotionally scarred Bubbles (there’s only so many cruel “Michael Jackson blowing Bubbles” jokes a chimp can be exposed to before losing his frickin’ mind), who is 26 now and probably doesn’t appreciate being reminded of his days in the Neverland circus.

As always, CNN was there:

There is journalistic precedent for this type of hard-hitting reporting, however, because after Tarzan died, Edward R. Murrow did a similar story about the King of the Jungle’s chimp:

null

Jul

2

Henry Waxman Has Made Me Feel Faint For Years, So It’s Nice to See the Favor Returned

Filed Under Politics |  |

Rep. Henry Waxman fainted at his office yesterday.

At first I suspected that Waxman finally looked in a mirror, but it turns out he collapsed from pork-induced exhaustion caused by repeated efforts to run off with all our money.

In other Waxman-related news: Henry Waxman and Batboy: Separated at birth? You be the judge.

Jul

1

Good Samaritan Laws in Iran Even Worse Than in California

Filed Under Politics, Religion |  |

It’s being reported that Iran is going to prosecute Arash Hejazi, a doctor who tried to help Neda Aqa-Soltan after she was shot.

Nice regime, eh? And I thought California’s “Good Samaritan Laws” were lousy…

Iran Election Update: ACORN opens branch in Teheran.

Jul

1

Obama Admits to Being on the Wrong Side of History on Iraq

Filed Under Politics, War |  |

I never thought I’d see the day that President Obama took credit for Bush’s war crimes, but that day was yesterday.

President Obama, who was against the Iraq war every step of the way and opposed the surge, spoke yesterday about the withdrawal of troops from Iraqi cities:

U.S. President Barack Obama said the withdrawal of American combat forces from all Iraqi cities on Tuesday is “an important milestone.” Mr. Obama said he expects more violence in Iraq, but that the country will emerge stable and sovereign.

It’s amazing enough that Obama’s entire statement on the successes in Iraq didn’t positively acknowledge the troops or Bush, without whom none of the progress in Iraq that Obama is essentially taking credit for would have been possible, but here’s the real knee-slapper:

“The future belongs to those who build, not those who destroy. And today’s transition is further proof that those who have tried to pull Iraq into the abyss of disunion and civil war are on the wrong side of history,” the president said.

By working to undermine, prevent and stop the operations in Iraq to free that nation, Obama, Harry “the war is lost“ Reid, et al, by course of their actions against the war, were clearly willing to allow Iraq to be pulled into the abyss of disunion and civil war.

From where I sit, Barack Obama just admitted that he and countless Democrats were on the wrong side of history, and I agree 100%. Who says liberals and conservatives can’t find common ground on certain issues?

To turn around one of John Kerry’s famous quotes on flip-flopping, Obama was “against the Iraq war before he was for it.”

Obama is that kid who voted to cancel the entire baseball season because the team wasn’t going to win any games, skipped all the contests, and then elbowed out all the other players to get his picture taken holding the championship trophy on team photo day.

Jul

1

‘Honey, I Shrunk Your Ego’: The Best Way to Get Back at a Cheating Political Spouse

Filed Under Politics |  |

Wall Street Journal senior economics writer Steve Moore called S. Carolina Governor Mark Sanford’s wife, Jenny, the “brains of the operation” and suggested that she run for her husbands seat as governor should he resign.

Hell, she should run for his job even if he doesn’t resign. It shouldn’t be too tough for anybody to take Sanford’s seat away from him, since he seems to be so pre-occupied with chasing other seats all around the Western Hemisphere. Can you imagine a campaign pitting the wife of a spouse who cheated on her against her own possibly soon-to-be ex-husband? You think campaign ads are nasty now, just wait!

More from the Kudlow Report:

(h/t Newsbusters)

Jul

1

Up Next: Amish Bailout?

Filed Under Business |  |

The economy still sucks: Poor, minorities and the Amish hardest hit.

I can already hear the rumblings of an “Amish stimulus plan” on Capitol Hill. We’ll have to wait and hear from Obama’s “Butter Churning, Buggy, Buckle and Barn Raising Czar” as to how we’re going to handle this crisis.

The government needs to take care of the Amish, because they’re providing a valuable service in providing a sneak preview for the rest of us as to how we’re all going to be living if the government keeps getting their way — minus the nice houses, horses, food, pro-family community mindset and independence.

Hopefully somebody helps soon. The struggling economy is really stressing them out, and as a result of the pressure, incidents of Amish road rage are on the rise:

Jun

30

Court Says Franken Won, Senate Dems Anticipate Arrival of Fellow Comedian

Filed Under Politics |  |

It’s nearly officially official now. Congress is getting exactly what they deserve — taxpayers on the other hand, probably not so much:

The Minnesota Supreme Court on Tuesday ordered that Democrat Al Franken be certified as the winner of the state’s long-running Senate race, paving the way for a resolution in the seven-month fight over the seat.

The high court rejected a legal challenge from Republican Norm Coleman, whose options for regaining the Senate seat are dwindling.

Given that, here’s part of your new liberal comedy lineup in the Senate:

null

Update: Coleman concedes to Franken.

Jun

30

Breaking: Mainstream Media Outlets Accuse Mark Sanford of Plagiarizing Love Letters

Filed Under Humor |  |

WASHINGTON, DC (PNN): PNN has learned that the heads of several mainstream media outlets, including the Associated Press, Reuters, MSNBC, ABC and others, have accused Mark Sanford of plagiarizing some of their reporters in love letters the S. Carolina Governor wrote to his mistress in Argentina.

The media outlets are accusing Sanford of stealing the moving and emotional words he emailed to Maria Belen Chapur last year, line for line, from various articles that reporters covering the 2008 election campaign wrote about then presidential candidate Barack Obama.

The mainstream media outlets are seeking an admission of guilt from Sanford, but so far haven’t gotten one.

“Those love letters were very personal and represent a deep affection, respect and admiration for a flawlessly beautiful human being in its purest, most spiritual form, and I can assure you they are original and were written from the heart,” according to a spokesperson.

“So were the Governor’s letters!” Replied a Sanford staffer in defense of the besieged governor.

More on this story as it develops.