The 77th annual Academy Awards are still over three months away, but I was thinking about the Oscars this morning, and how distraught most of Malibu must be right now. That said, there are conservative actors, and now they’re more motivated than ever. Would any of them have the guts to give a “pro Bush” speech at the Oscars? The very thought of that would scare the Vera Wang off any leftist starlet. The Academy would sooner cancel than let that happen. If they got word that an actor was preparing a “pro Bush” acceptance speech, you’d probably see a press release along these lines, announcing the cancellation of the show:

“The fine actors and actresses who grace this stage are expected to behave with decorum, decency, and voice their opposition to all war and tax cuts, have a profound interest in freeing the Tibetan people, believe that meat is murder, Bush stole the 2000 election, and probably even the 2004 election, support the ramming of whaling vessels, oppose medical testing on animals, are pro gun control, anti logging, demand freedom for Leonard Peltier, loudly denounce the shafting of Native Americans, want a ban on fossil fuels and nuclear weapons, fly their private 747′s thousands of miles to attend summits on ozone depletion, believe you can’t hug your kids with nuclear arms, want free medical care, spray paint fur coats, and encourage everyone to worship L. Ron Hubbard. Anything other than these common principles is simply political grandstanding, and will not be tolerated. Once this pro-Bush individual is identified and the proper precautions are taken, we will consider the rescheduling of the Oscars.”

Hey…could happen.


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