Viktor Yushchenko wins in Ukraine, still afraid to eat

Viktor Yushchenko won “Ukraine election II”, defeating Viktor Yanukovich after Yanukovich’s first win was thrown out by a court. The crowd at Yushchenko’s campaign headquarters was rowdy, yelling and chanting Viktor’s name, but grew deadly silent after Yushchenko asked if anybody wanted to be his food taster.

As for Yanukovich, he’s refusing to accept defeat, and will soon grab a seat right next to Al Gore at the Sore Loser Bar & Grill, located just off Route 11 in the state of Denial.

Somewhere, a bumbling David Boies is in a phone booth trying to change into his “Super Lawyer” suit, hopelessly entangled in the cape and tights, and will miss his flight to Ukraine.

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: