After enduring family tragedy, a couple of wives, a tour of duty in the Chivas navy, an attempt at the presidency, John Kerry’s attempt to defeat Bush, and now derail the confirmation of Alberto Gonzales, Ted Kennedy is still slurring strong without the least bit of introspection.

At the confirmation hearing for Alberto Gonzales for Attorney General, Kennedy was grilling the nominee about an interrogation tactic called “water boarding”, where a person is made to believe they’ll drown, and so they end up being most cooperative with their questioners. Kennedy hates this. All obvious jokes aside (Such as “Kennedy knows this tactic by the name ‘Oldsmoboarding’”), how can he of all people bring up water in any context?

Ted can be absolutely shameless. When Kennedy endorsed Kerry months back, he wasn’t even shy about touting the fact that Kerry once saved somebody from drowning. At least Teddy knows who should be riding shotgun for him from now on.

Statements like this are the most telling symptom of Kennedy’s ivory tower induced moral myopia. Ted Kennedy, without batting an eye, can proudly laud a colleague for saving someone from drowning, or criticize placing a prisoner under water? This takes some serious nerve – right up there with Lizzy Borden praising the skillful hatchet work of Paul Bunyan.

Joe Kennedy had a daughter lobotomized, and, judging from the incongruous comments uttered by his son, he apparently forced Ted to undergo several compunction bypass procedures.

Ted’s even got a dog that he named “Splash.” I often wonder if he ever lets Splash get together with Joe Hazelwood’s dog – “Slick” – for a nice game of Frisbee at “Irony Park.”


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