Snubbed is as snubbed does

Pamela P. from Louisville, Kentucky writes concerning the 1st Annual Bologna Awards:

My only addition to your awards’ list would’ve been something about the hypocritical left-wing Hollywood airheads who are among those who scream the loudest about the “intolerance” of mainstream America (i.e., those of us in “flyover” and/or “red” states), yet showed their blatant intolerance by snubbing “The Passion of the Christ” in its Oscar ceremonies.

Normally, this is the way of life in Tinseltown, but this year they also had to snub “Fahrenheit 9/11”, and it wasn’t due to intolerance, but prudence. Sure they probably wanted to give Moore’s film every award in their arsenal, but even Hollywood and their quest for ticket sales gets a twinge of “Red state phobia” once in a while.

Monday's shameless plug, Oscar edition

Today’s column at WorldNetDaily mocks the Oscars just a tad, if that’s even possible. There are so many people and groups wandering the streets who can act just as good, or better, than the Morgan Freemans and Cate Blanchetts of the world, but who all to often go without being recognized with an award.

Give a read to “The 1st Annual Bologna Awards“, and you’ll see that they’re much more practical than the Oscars.

Speaking of the Academy Awards, how was Chris Rock? Unlike some comedians, who can clean it up and not lose a step, Rock, unable to use the “For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge” acronym, seemed like a boxer with his hands tied behind his back.

Of course there were the obligatory Bush jokes, but you have to do that at the Oscars. Not picking on Bush when you’re in Hollywood is like going to Orlando without seeing Disney World.

The best line of the night, besides “The show’s finally over now”, had to be Rock’s introduction of a couple of presenters:

“You won’t be able to take your eyes off of these next four presenters: Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek.”

I love how they’re trying to “hurry the show along” by just wading into the audience and handing out awards. Talk about getting snubbed. “Mr. Eastwood, come up on stage and get your award, you genius!” Then they cut to the “Best lighting director”, he stands up, a kid runs by with a microphone and an Oscar, a few words are said, then he sits back down. It’s like Carson’s old “Stump the band” bit.

At least that show is done for another year. The limo convoy back to Malibu arrived safely, just after 2 a.m., and they can all start plotting how to try for more Oscars. I might even try to see one of the movies this year… but I’m not counting on it.

Monday’s shameless plug, Oscar edition

Today’s column at WorldNetDaily mocks the Oscars just a tad, if that’s even possible. There are so many people and groups wandering the streets who can act just as good, or better, than the Morgan Freemans and Cate Blanchetts of the world, but who all to often go without being recognized with an award.

Give a read to “The 1st Annual Bologna Awards“, and you’ll see that they’re much more practical than the Oscars.

Speaking of the Academy Awards, how was Chris Rock? Unlike some comedians, who can clean it up and not lose a step, Rock, unable to use the “For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge” acronym, seemed like a boxer with his hands tied behind his back.

Of course there were the obligatory Bush jokes, but you have to do that at the Oscars. Not picking on Bush when you’re in Hollywood is like going to Orlando without seeing Disney World.

The best line of the night, besides “The show’s finally over now”, had to be Rock’s introduction of a couple of presenters:

“You won’t be able to take your eyes off of these next four presenters: Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek.”

I love how they’re trying to “hurry the show along” by just wading into the audience and handing out awards. Talk about getting snubbed. “Mr. Eastwood, come up on stage and get your award, you genius!” Then they cut to the “Best lighting director”, he stands up, a kid runs by with a microphone and an Oscar, a few words are said, then he sits back down. It’s like Carson’s old “Stump the band” bit.

At least that show is done for another year. The limo convoy back to Malibu arrived safely, just after 2 a.m., and they can all start plotting how to try for more Oscars. I might even try to see one of the movies this year… but I’m not counting on it.

"Oscar, Bologna, Bologna, Oscar"

Well, tonight’s the big night… so they say. The Academy Awards are upon us, and, once again, I haven’t seen any of the nominated films or actors. As far as I know, “Depp” is something you put in your hair, and “Swank” is a porno magazine.

They did a great job of promoting this year’s show. Creating a buzz over whether or not Chris Rock would have an on-air fit of Tourette Syndrome could boost ratings. The show is on a seven second delay, however, but Rock could easily get around that by simply saying “F*&K” for eight seconds.

Boredom with the Oscars is why, this year, I decided to create my own awards program. I call it “The Bologna Awards”, and that’ll be the topic of tomorrows column at WorldNetDaily.

We return you now to your regularly scheduled Sunday.

“Oscar, Bologna, Bologna, Oscar”

Well, tonight’s the big night… so they say. The Academy Awards are upon us, and, once again, I haven’t seen any of the nominated films or actors. As far as I know, “Depp” is something you put in your hair, and “Swank” is a porno magazine.

They did a great job of promoting this year’s show. Creating a buzz over whether or not Chris Rock would have an on-air fit of Tourette Syndrome could boost ratings. The show is on a seven second delay, however, but Rock could easily get around that by simply saying “F*&K” for eight seconds.

Boredom with the Oscars is why, this year, I decided to create my own awards program. I call it “The Bologna Awards”, and that’ll be the topic of tomorrows column at WorldNetDaily.

We return you now to your regularly scheduled Sunday.

No missile shield for Canada, but one in the works for the future

Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin announced that his country will not take part in the United States’ missile defense shield.

Canada probably feels that the only way a missile will ever be headed its way will be due to what’s known in the rocket biz as a “targeting error”, but you never know.

The prudent Canuck is planning for an eventual high-tech protection of that country. Below is an early artists rendering of a proposed Canadian missile defense system: