Former Vermont Governor and potential Democrat nominee for president Howard Dean will, as of this evening, be that party’s new Chairman. Dean’s promising to make the party competitive in the South, Midwest, and Mountain– In other words, he’s got to figure out a way they can be fake Republicans.

Grabbing the unlit torch from outgoing chief Terry McAuliffe, whose sales tactics make Mr. Haney from “Green Acres” seem trustworthy by comparison, Dean has to figure out how to get a three-legged donkey up a mile-long 45 degree embankment with Ted Kennedy on its back. He also has to find a way to ensure that the Dems next presidential nominee isn’t an escapee from the “Dukakis Home for the Clinically Unelectable.”

In trying to tackle these insurmountable tasks, Dean will be under more stress than Michael Moore’s inseam. This should make for a dandy scream at some point.


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