Dems pass the unlit torch to Howard Dean, who will try to light it with a wet match

Former Vermont Governor and potential Democrat nominee for president Howard Dean will, as of this evening, be that party’s new Chairman. Dean’s promising to make the party competitive in the South, Midwest, and Mountain– In other words, he’s got to figure out a way they can be fake Republicans.

Grabbing the unlit torch from outgoing chief Terry McAuliffe, whose sales tactics make Mr. Haney from “Green Acres” seem trustworthy by comparison, Dean has to figure out how to get a three-legged donkey up a mile-long 45 degree embankment with Ted Kennedy on its back. He also has to find a way to ensure that the Dems next presidential nominee isn’t an escapee from the “Dukakis Home for the Clinically Unelectable.”

In trying to tackle these insurmountable tasks, Dean will be under more stress than Michael Moore’s inseam. This should make for a dandy scream at some point.

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: