"Oscar, Bologna, Bologna, Oscar"

Well, tonight’s the big night… so they say. The Academy Awards are upon us, and, once again, I haven’t seen any of the nominated films or actors. As far as I know, “Depp” is something you put in your hair, and “Swank” is a porno magazine.

They did a great job of promoting this year’s show. Creating a buzz over whether or not Chris Rock would have an on-air fit of Tourette Syndrome could boost ratings. The show is on a seven second delay, however, but Rock could easily get around that by simply saying “F*&K” for eight seconds.

Boredom with the Oscars is why, this year, I decided to create my own awards program. I call it “The Bologna Awards”, and that’ll be the topic of tomorrows column at WorldNetDaily.

We return you now to your regularly scheduled Sunday.

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. MichelleMalkin.com alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: WriteDoug@Live.com.