A quick Sunday sports break: Skip down a post if you don’t like basketball

Sunday night’s double overtime victory by Michigan State over Kentucky was nearly enough to make me forgive Kansas for screwing my brackets on the first weekend of March Madness… a loss that means for sure I’ll not win a pot of what will probably amount to dozens of dollars.

MSU’s on a roll, and plays N. Carolina in the Final Four next Saturday. Prediction: MSU 81, N. Carolina 76.

Thankfully, the Spartans made it past Duke on Friday, so there was no repeat of the infamous 1999 campus riot. Living a couple of miles from campus at the time, I could nearly read by the light of the burning cars. Now, since I’m over 30 miles removed, potential rioters should forget about the need for a repeat of that episode… I own a lamp now and don’t need the light. Thanks anyway.

Another satisfied customer

Here’s a comment made by an ever-so-brave “anonymous” person a few posts down (the ‘tinfoil hat’ one)

Two years ago, I resigned from the Republican Party. The reason is simple, I refuse to be a sheeple. The Bush Administration is a farce and even more alarming is that the so-called religious community continues to fall down and worship him. Doug Powers is just another sick-o neocon bootlicker.

This is why I like to keep the “allow anonymous posts” switch in the “on” position. Otherwise fun comments like this wouldn’t often appear, since these types rarely have the guts to actually print their name.

In case you don’t know what “neocon” is, it’s some sort of paleocon Prozac. Paleocons (I can throw out vague but impressive sounding labels too) say “neocon” twice a day, wash it down with water, and it’s somehow supposed to relieve their rage that Pat Buchanan never got elected president. It doesn’t work, but at least they’re trying.

By the way, anonymous Einstein, the term “neoconservative” comes from the late 60’s and 70’s, and was reserved for former leftists, mostly Jewish, who grew weary of their party(s). I can assure you, I fit none of these categories.

Sure, today the term is misapplied and overused, but I hold it to its root meaning.

Now if you don’t mind, I’ve got some boots to lick. They’re on a chocolate bunny, but technically, the anonymous comment wizard is correct.

How much enlightening has the Kabbalah given Madonna? Nun.

Dressed as a nun, Madonna made an appearance at a celebration for the Jewish Purim Festival. Lightning didn’t strike, which sort of deals a blow to my faith, but that’s neither here nor there.

Madonna has become a superhero of sorts. Not because of great abilities or powers, but for her transformational prowess. She can be in full “normal mother with spiritual depth” mode one minute – sort of like Donna Reed after a weekend of brainwashing at the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi’s ashram – then jump into a phone booth and quickly change into “Super-Slut, the Caped Cluelessader,” saving the world from sexual inhibition and general decency while hipping us to other uses for vegetables and modeling bras that will poke the eyes out of those who dare venture too close.

One thing that Madonna has admitted to doing is hiding her children from what she does for a living, or perhaps more importantly, how she does it. We can give her credit for that, but that credit is taken back after she has the audacity to not have a care in the world if our children are exposed to what she does.

At one time, Madonna ruled the world of pop music. She was riding high atop the charts (not to mention several athletes and actors). Her album “Like a Virgin” has sold around 20 million copies, half of which were purchased by collectors who knew it could be the last time the world would ever see Madonna and the word “virgin” in the same photo.

She then married Sean Penn, a man with a head more cavernous and helium-filled than a blimp hangar, stayed in the news by continuing to release hit singles and strip, and because her husband treated tabloid photographers the way they deserve to be treated. Realizing that, in the celebrity industry, you have to flow with the tides if your career is to survive – Madonna did just that, and flowed away from Penn.

Sean later went on a “fact-finding” mission to Baghdad, where the word “Penn” is now an Arabic term meaning “the dumbest guy in Iraq.”

Madonna has since “reinvented” herself a couple hundred times – each reinvention a little filthier than the next until the day she realized that the only way she could get nastier would be to engage in Internet porn with six circus clowns and a pack mule. She then put the brakes on (couldn’t find a pack mule), had kids and made a couple of movies that were the celluloid equivalent of a root canal.

She now lives in England, where she badmouths the United States and comes here only often enough to pick up sacks full of money, have her rump smooched on the Oprah Winfrey show and make headlines by quivering the cargo pants of teen-age boys everywhere via a make-out session with Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears on the MTV video music awards show. The old pop star open-mouthing the new pop stars. It was like a “passing of the bimbo torch” ceremony for bleach-blonde doofus diva skanks.

Now come children’s books written by Madonna. It’s only a natural progression, or in this case regression. She released a picture book in the early ’90s called “Sex,” so this all fits into her backward slide away from a scene she helped create. I won’t let my kids look at any of her children’s books for fear of chapter titles like “If it doesn’t fit, don’t force it,” “No, you won’t go blind,” or “Why is Mommy’s ‘flashlight’ buzzing?”

I will, however, use her as an example of somebody who claims to care about children so much, yet must shield her own from a world that she and her like-minded music and film-industry shock dealers helped build. What an “enlightened” person.

"Waiting to exhale" isn't just a movie to some Canadians

Canadian Liberals are looking for a way to better control big industry in that country– Such as auto manufacturers, puck factories, etc. So, they’re trying to amend the Environmental Protection Act to bring these industries deeper into compliance with the Kyoto Treaty.

How do they plan on doing this? By making carbon dioxide officially recognized as a “pollutant.”

The breath leaving the mouths of those who voiced support for this idea proved, without a shadow of a doubt, that they’re so very, unequivocally… correct. Liberal exhalation, without a doubt, is a major cause of pollution, no matter what country it’s in.

“Waiting to exhale” isn’t just a movie to some Canadians

Canadian Liberals are looking for a way to better control big industry in that country– Such as auto manufacturers, puck factories, etc. So, they’re trying to amend the Environmental Protection Act to bring these industries deeper into compliance with the Kyoto Treaty.

How do they plan on doing this? By making carbon dioxide officially recognized as a “pollutant.”

The breath leaving the mouths of those who voiced support for this idea proved, without a shadow of a doubt, that they’re so very, unequivocally… correct. Liberal exhalation, without a doubt, is a major cause of pollution, no matter what country it’s in.

Install a FOXBlocker on your TV, and ensure that you'll receive nothing but liberal bias

A device called the “FOXBlocker” is now on the market, which, when installed on your television, simply blocks the FOX News Channel from appearing on your screen. Had I invented it, I would have called it “the Dhuehickey”, but that’s neither here nor there.

The inventor of the Fox Blocker admits that anybody can simply avoid watching FOX News and their, as he described it, “right wing propaganda” by simply not watching it. That aside, the Fox Blocker is a symbolic way to show that you refuse to allow anything but liberal bias in your home.

The device only costs $8.95, and the creators, on the “about us” page, say they’ll share all profits with “progressive organizations concerned with taking our country back from the gang of thieves, liars and war profiteers that are currently running the show.”

If you purchase the device to show that you loathe FOX News, the company will send a letter to FOX News’ top ten advertisors, telling them that… well… that you probably never were watching in the first place. This has the practical impact of Salman Rushdie threatening the Iranian Board of Tourism that Teheran had better pull their act together or else he’ll never visit again.

I don’t know much about “progressives”, since I guess I’d have to be “progressive” to do that, but they certainly do seem to have a very poor sense of how the world of business, finance, advertising, and media really works. Perhaps it’s because they’ve progressed so far ahead, they’ve left logic in the dust.

“Progressives” often display a business acumen fraught with contradictions and nonsensical presuppositions, self-imposing a frustrating Catch-22… like Captain Hook with a hemmerhoid flare-up or a lactose intolerant cow.

Examples of this would be creators of the FOXBlocker thinking FOX advertisers will be threatened by boycott threats from people who aren’t seeing their ads on a station their television can’t receive– And if the FOXBlocker people do see the ads, they’re admitting that either they don’t use their own product or it doesn’t work.

Another example of poor “progressive” business acumen is pro-abortion feminist groups who aggressively seek new members but support the killing of potential recruits before they’re even born– Kind of like if the YMCA brought in a hundred people hoping to sign them to a membership, and then tied bricks to half of them before they got in the pool.

Not only are the FOXBlocker people facing quite the uphill battle, but it also looks like they have some major competition.

A quick glance at the latest cable news ratings and it would appear that far more people have installed similar devices to get rid of CNN, MSNBC, and CNBC (which I’ll call “CNN-Away”, “MSNBC-Be-Gone”, and “I-Don’t-C-NBC”) than have installed the FOXBlocker.

I personally have no desire to block FOX’s foxes.

Install a FOXBlocker on your TV, and ensure that you’ll receive nothing but liberal bias

A device called the “FOXBlocker” is now on the market, which, when installed on your television, simply blocks the FOX News Channel from appearing on your screen. Had I invented it, I would have called it “the Dhuehickey”, but that’s neither here nor there.

The inventor of the Fox Blocker admits that anybody can simply avoid watching FOX News and their, as he described it, “right wing propaganda” by simply not watching it. That aside, the Fox Blocker is a symbolic way to show that you refuse to allow anything but liberal bias in your home.

The device only costs $8.95, and the creators, on the “about us” page, say they’ll share all profits with “progressive organizations concerned with taking our country back from the gang of thieves, liars and war profiteers that are currently running the show.”

If you purchase the device to show that you loathe FOX News, the company will send a letter to FOX News’ top ten advertisors, telling them that… well… that you probably never were watching in the first place. This has the practical impact of Salman Rushdie threatening the Iranian Board of Tourism that Teheran had better pull their act together or else he’ll never visit again.

I don’t know much about “progressives”, since I guess I’d have to be “progressive” to do that, but they certainly do seem to have a very poor sense of how the world of business, finance, advertising, and media really works. Perhaps it’s because they’ve progressed so far ahead, they’ve left logic in the dust.

“Progressives” often display a business acumen fraught with contradictions and nonsensical presuppositions, self-imposing a frustrating Catch-22… like Captain Hook with a hemmerhoid flare-up or a lactose intolerant cow.

Examples of this would be creators of the FOXBlocker thinking FOX advertisers will be threatened by boycott threats from people who aren’t seeing their ads on a station their television can’t receive– And if the FOXBlocker people do see the ads, they’re admitting that either they don’t use their own product or it doesn’t work.

Another example of poor “progressive” business acumen is pro-abortion feminist groups who aggressively seek new members but support the killing of potential recruits before they’re even born– Kind of like if the YMCA brought in a hundred people hoping to sign them to a membership, and then tied bricks to half of them before they got in the pool.

Not only are the FOXBlocker people facing quite the uphill battle, but it also looks like they have some major competition.

A quick glance at the latest cable news ratings and it would appear that far more people have installed similar devices to get rid of CNN, MSNBC, and CNBC (which I’ll call “CNN-Away”, “MSNBC-Be-Gone”, and “I-Don’t-C-NBC”) than have installed the FOXBlocker.

I personally have no desire to block FOX’s foxes.

Anybody got a big eagle costume?

U.S. District Judge James Whittemore, the same guy who sentenced Terri Schiavo to death by dehydration for nothing more than having an bunghole for a husband, once fined a guy $90,000 for violating the Bald and Golden Eagle Protection Act.

A man, named Mylon Stockton, attempted to cut down a tree on his property that had an eagle’s nest in it, prompting the legal trouble and, ultimately, a big fine from the caring Judge Whittemore.

This took place in 2002, way before Stockton would have ever thought to tell Judge Whittemore that he only did what he did because he had a chat with the eagle’s spouse and cutting down the tree was “what the eagle would have wanted.”

This is an unfortunate trend in society today. The lives of animals are scrutinized with greater compassion that the lives of humans, not to mention the judicial impunity toward those who do humans harm, offset by their appalling contempt for those who even accidentally “displace” an animal.

Terri Schiavo has the misfortune of not having feathers. If she did, Judge Whittemore would have fined her husband and put the feeding tube back in.

Why do some people among us seem to value the lives of eagles and other animals more than humans?

As near as I can figure it could be subconscious contempt for humanity. Perhaps people like Judge Whittemore can’t help but recall, as they pen their rulings, that they have never been stuck in a traffic jam caused by eagles, received a tax bill on their summer home from an eagle, gotten stuck sitting next to an eagle on the plane who won’t stop talking, or had an eagle call them at dinner time to try to sell them insurance.

Birds of a feather…

Washington Times, a cuffed kid, and possible state seizure to start the morning

A clip from my Monday column appears once again in the “Culture Briefs” section of today’s Washington Times. Check it out (it’s the third one). Also, if you haven’t, give a read to the full column. It’s my take on the Terri Schiavo situation. I promised myself I wouldn’t pipe in on that, but I couldn’t take it anymore.

Speaking of Schiavo, there have been some people trying to cross the police line to go in and give water to Terri. Here is one example– A kid, who was led away in handcuffs. Couldn’t they have just distracted the little fella with an XBox or something? Hell, the cops didn’t handcuff Brian Nichols, the guy who blew away four innocent people in Atlanta, but they’ve sure got Skippy the waterboy under control!

Options for the Schindler family have dwindled to simply hoping that Jeb Bush orders the state of Florida authorities to barge in and take Terri out of the hospice, Elian Gonzales style. We’ll see. Just in case, Jeb’s got Janet Reno warming up in the bullpen.

Somebody run to the store and get some tinfoil… we got us some hats to make!

A self-confessed US military intelligence operative, code named “Grillfire”, claims the government knew about 9/11 a full 25 years before it happened. In 1976, Grillfire (which is also my code name during BBQ season) says he took part in studies, using the World Trade Centers as models, for consideration of what would happen if terrorists planned to hit the buildings with hijacked planes.

The report was submitted to congress, and nothing was done about it, according to Grillfire.

Look at his picture at the bottom of his story explaining his saga, and some questions may be answered. The “Woodstock: 1969” shirt combined with his story gives away one extraordinary secret: Grillfire ingested the feared “brown acid.”

Much to Grillfire’s frustration, he was ignored by the blind masses. Just like earlier in his career, when he warned of an impending attack on the Empire State Building. Nobody listened to Grillfire, and a mere few weeks later, the unthinkable happened: