Could it be? The world of pop lip-synching was rocked yesterday as Britney Spears announced that she’s pregnant. Spears is actually married, and rumor is that her husband is the father of the baby! Unbelievable.

The cult of California celebrity must be scratching their collective heads in shock and dismay. A pop diva gets married, then pregnant? In Los Angeles, this is the equivalent of a Bigfoot sighting. What’s next? Not cheating on each other? That would be followed by excommunication from the Church of Hollywood.

It seems like only yesterday that Britney was making out with Madonna on an MTV awards show. At the time, it was like a “passing of the bimbo torch” ceremony for doofus diva skanks, and the world thought that Spears would follow Madonna’s cone-bra trail into a career of contrived controversy. I thought maybe Britney would start touching herself more, using personal trainers for their sperm, corrupting a generation of youth, and then packing up and moving to England (a country full of youth you helped corrupt is no place to raise your child) to work on the perfect fake accent. That’s not happening.

Now Spears goes and does something that normal people do? Her career is finished.


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