–The Discovery Channel has announced their list of the 100 greatest Americans. Tom Cruise? I thought he said he was leaving the country a few years ago. Wait, in Hollywood terms, that’s what makes you a great American.

–Elian Gonzalez has thanked America for sending him back to Cuba. Gonzalez, now eleven years old, expressed his thanks to those who assisted him at gunpoint to go back to a place where he can thank those same people… at gunpoint. Elian says he’s happy because now he gets to see his father every day, not to mention Jimmy Carter and Danny Glover.

–Luke Skywalker’s baby pictures from the upcoming Star Wars III movie have hit the ‘net. You can tell it’s a boy Jedi because you can see the blaster in the ultrasound photo.

–There’s a website called “StopTheNRA.com“. Not a day goes by that Kennedy and Company sure make me appreciate the fact that I’m on the side with all the guns.

–Pope Benedict XVI has an email address up and running. If you want to be one of the tens of thousands to flood the Pope’s email, send a letter to him at benedictxvi@vatican.va. I’m a little leary about the Pope having an email address. You just know his “in” box looks like this:

Subject: Congratulations, Pontiff!

Subject: Good luck, Pope Benedict!

Subject: A bigger penis in just 5 days!

Subject: God bless you, Pope Benedict!

Subject: Keep it up for five hours with Levitra!


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