Monthly Archives: April 2005

Monday's plug: The Great Emancipator's alleged homosexuality

Today’s WorldNetDaily column is another example of a blog post gone wild. There’s a new trend among some historians to set out to prove that Abraham Lincoln was homosexual. Could it be true, or is it just another witch hunt (or in this case dress hunt) to retroactively alter the lives of historical figures to justify modern mores? Read the column to find out more.

One argument on the “he wasn’t” side is that, in the Gettysburg Address, Lincoln didn’t use the word “fabulous” even once.

Monday’s plug: The Great Emancipator’s alleged homosexuality

Today’s WorldNetDaily column is another example of a blog post gone wild. There’s a new trend among some historians to set out to prove that Abraham Lincoln was homosexual. Could it be true, or is it just another witch hunt (or in this case dress hunt) to retroactively alter the lives of historical figures to justify modern mores? Read the column to find out more.

One argument on the “he wasn’t” side is that, in the Gettysburg Address, Lincoln didn’t use the word “fabulous” even once.

"Trippin'" with Diaz and Barrymore is like, um, SO educational!

Hollywood may think the United States isn’t environmentally friendly, but one thing we obviously do recycle are pinheads.

LiberalLunacy.net has Cameron Diaz as their Lib lunatic of the day. This is in reference to a program on MTV called “Trippin‘”, the show that takes Hollywood doofuses and ships them around the world. At that point, they meet with people who live in horrid conditions, and laud them about how environmentally friendly they are for having nothing.

This is of great assistance to the self-esteem of those who live in third world squalor and have no food or toilet paper, because it still makes them damn happy to be where they are and not here in proximity to such complete morons.

The first episodes star Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore, a pair that makes Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie look like molecular biologists… stupid molecular biologists, but still…

By the way, according to MTV, there are ten things you can do to save the earth. They left off “Turn off MTV”.

“Trippin’” with Diaz and Barrymore is like, um, SO educational!

Hollywood may think the United States isn’t environmentally friendly, but one thing we obviously do recycle are pinheads.

LiberalLunacy.net has Cameron Diaz as their Lib lunatic of the day. This is in reference to a program on MTV called “Trippin‘”, the show that takes Hollywood doofuses and ships them around the world. At that point, they meet with people who live in horrid conditions, and laud them about how environmentally friendly they are for having nothing.

This is of great assistance to the self-esteem of those who live in third world squalor and have no food or toilet paper, because it still makes them damn happy to be where they are and not here in proximity to such complete morons.

The first episodes star Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore, a pair that makes Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie look like molecular biologists… stupid molecular biologists, but still…

By the way, according to MTV, there are ten things you can do to save the earth. They left off “Turn off MTV”.

Saturday roundup of stories I'm semi indifferent about

–The Discovery Channel has announced their list of the 100 greatest Americans. Tom Cruise? I thought he said he was leaving the country a few years ago. Wait, in Hollywood terms, that’s what makes you a great American.

–Elian Gonzalez has thanked America for sending him back to Cuba. Gonzalez, now eleven years old, expressed his thanks to those who assisted him at gunpoint to go back to a place where he can thank those same people… at gunpoint. Elian says he’s happy because now he gets to see his father every day, not to mention Jimmy Carter and Danny Glover.

–Luke Skywalker’s baby pictures from the upcoming Star Wars III movie have hit the ‘net. You can tell it’s a boy Jedi because you can see the blaster in the ultrasound photo.

–There’s a website called “StopTheNRA.com“. Not a day goes by that Kennedy and Company sure make me appreciate the fact that I’m on the side with all the guns.

–Pope Benedict XVI has an email address up and running. If you want to be one of the tens of thousands to flood the Pope’s email, send a letter to him at benedictxvi@vatican.va. I’m a little leary about the Pope having an email address. You just know his “in” box looks like this:

Subject: Congratulations, Pontiff!

Subject: Good luck, Pope Benedict!

Subject: A bigger penis in just 5 days!

Subject: God bless you, Pope Benedict!

Subject: Keep it up for five hours with Levitra!

Saturday roundup of stories I’m semi indifferent about

–The Discovery Channel has announced their list of the 100 greatest Americans. Tom Cruise? I thought he said he was leaving the country a few years ago. Wait, in Hollywood terms, that’s what makes you a great American.

–Elian Gonzalez has thanked America for sending him back to Cuba. Gonzalez, now eleven years old, expressed his thanks to those who assisted him at gunpoint to go back to a place where he can thank those same people… at gunpoint. Elian says he’s happy because now he gets to see his father every day, not to mention Jimmy Carter and Danny Glover.

–Luke Skywalker’s baby pictures from the upcoming Star Wars III movie have hit the ‘net. You can tell it’s a boy Jedi because you can see the blaster in the ultrasound photo.

–There’s a website called “StopTheNRA.com“. Not a day goes by that Kennedy and Company sure make me appreciate the fact that I’m on the side with all the guns.

–Pope Benedict XVI has an email address up and running. If you want to be one of the tens of thousands to flood the Pope’s email, send a letter to him at benedictxvi@vatican.va. I’m a little leary about the Pope having an email address. You just know his “in” box looks like this:

Subject: Congratulations, Pontiff!

Subject: Good luck, Pope Benedict!

Subject: A bigger penis in just 5 days!

Subject: God bless you, Pope Benedict!

Subject: Keep it up for five hours with Levitra!

Nerd tsunami engulfs Indianapolis

This year’s Star Wars convention is underway, as evidenced by the fact that there are around 20,000 hotel rooms in Indianapolis that have had the nightstand bibles replaced with a photocopy of the room service breakfast order of George Lucas.

Yes, Lucas, the creator of the Star Wars series, is finally appearing at one of these conventions for the first time since 1987. This, coincidentally, is when some of these people started getting in line for “Episode III: Revenge of the Sith” which will be released in mid May this year.

Hopefully, for the environmentally conscious Indianapolis, those cheap plastic light sabers and Stormtrooper masks that will be left behind are recyclable.

Run and Hyde: Clinton impeachment in retaliation for Nixon?

After a 30 year run in the House of Representatives, Henry Hyde is stepping down. Hyde, as you may recall, headed up the “House managers” during the impeachment of Bill Clinton, and is now back in the headlines for a comment made to a reporter who asked if Bubba’s impeachment was in retaliation for Nixon.

“I can’t say it wasn’t”, Hyde said, in part. That’s all it took for the national media to pick up this story and run with it as proof that the impeachment of Clinton wasn’t justified.

The first question that comes to mind is… in retaliation for what? Nixon wasn’t impeached. Sure, he probably would have been, but he resigned first, spending his remaining years writing and loosening up by strolling along the beach in a suit and wingtips.

The only direct comparison I’m aware of between Clinton and Nixon is that, in both scandals, there was a “Deep Throat”.

Besides, by Clinton’s own admission, Republicans helped him in the self esteem department. In a June of 2004 interview, Clinton told an obviously smitten Dan Rather (I half expected the opening question to be “your place or mine?”) that he wore his impeachment “like a badge of honor,” because the effort was illegitimate.

Impeachment as a “badge of honor”? Clinton may have still been feeling a little guilt, since he once had an opportunity to earn an actual badge of honor, but instead, he was over at Oxford, pucker-deep in a doobie.

Maybe, in his later years, Henry Hyde is suffering from self doubt. He was beaten up pretty good in the late 90’s, but Hyde should re-read his speech during the impeachment debate to remind himself that, no, this had nothing to do with Nixon. He knows it didn’t, but a good reporter can slip things past somebody to create a parade of out-of-context quotes and confusing spin to take a local story to the national level– And it worked.

Taking it a step further, would a reporter ask Democrats in Congress today if what they’re trying to do to Tom Delay is in retaliation for Bill Clinton’s impeachment? What a silly question.

"Four score and seven queers ago" — Historians preoccupied with sex claim Lincoln was gay

Maybe the stovepipe hat should have been a dead giveaway.

During a conference in conjunction with the opening of the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum, two historians defended a book which claims that the nation’s 16th president was homosexual.

The author of “The Intimate World of Abraham Lincoln“, C.A. Tripp, died before the book was published, but his claims of Lincoln’s homosexuality were defended at the conference.

Here’s a quote from the article:

“I could build a Lincoln Log cabin of homophobic denial,” said Civil War historian Michael Chesson. “There’s been a cover-up, a conspiracy of silence for experts to hide what they regard as dirty linen in Abe’s faded carpetbag.”

Why do I feel like I need a shower after reading that?

It’s always fun to watch historians, sociologists and others pick famous names from history and then go searching to find any clues that they may have been gay. It’s like “Where’s Waldo” but with throw pillows and show tunes.

Part of the “investigation” of the book’s author was to examine Lincoln’s poetry. Interpretations of different forms of art vary wildly, so I remain skeptical– Unless of course Lincoln had a poem that was a dead giveaway– something like this:

Autumn leaves turn colors
Forget this beauty I shant
Long walks hand-in-hand
An evening with General Grant

Or maybe a Haiku…
Horses gallop by
Nature’s majesty disturbed
Seward’s pants back on

“Four score and seven queers ago” — Historians preoccupied with sex claim Lincoln was gay

Maybe the stovepipe hat should have been a dead giveaway.

During a conference in conjunction with the opening of the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum, two historians defended a book which claims that the nation’s 16th president was homosexual.

The author of “The Intimate World of Abraham Lincoln“, C.A. Tripp, died before the book was published, but his claims of Lincoln’s homosexuality were defended at the conference.

Here’s a quote from the article:

“I could build a Lincoln Log cabin of homophobic denial,” said Civil War historian Michael Chesson. “There’s been a cover-up, a conspiracy of silence for experts to hide what they regard as dirty linen in Abe’s faded carpetbag.”

Why do I feel like I need a shower after reading that?

It’s always fun to watch historians, sociologists and others pick famous names from history and then go searching to find any clues that they may have been gay. It’s like “Where’s Waldo” but with throw pillows and show tunes.

Part of the “investigation” of the book’s author was to examine Lincoln’s poetry. Interpretations of different forms of art vary wildly, so I remain skeptical– Unless of course Lincoln had a poem that was a dead giveaway– something like this:

Autumn leaves turn colors
Forget this beauty I shant
Long walks hand-in-hand
An evening with General Grant

Or maybe a Haiku…
Horses gallop by
Nature’s majesty disturbed
Seward’s pants back on