Dear members of the US Military past and present,
Thanks to you and your predecessors, we’re free. Throughout our history, you’ve fought for, and won, independence. You’ve helped put an end to slavery, oppression, genocide and all manner of craziness put forth by every spiral-eyed deranged dictator and tin-pot wanker on the planet.
You can be sent to fight in some of the biggest dung-heap, dirt-bucket and generally scummy areas on the face of the earth Ã¢â‚¬â€œ places that make a septic tank look like the Presidential Suite at the Bellagio.
You perform tasks Ã¢â‚¬â€œ from the incredibly dangerous to the intolerably mundane Ã¢â‚¬â€œ without complaint or plea for recognition.You’re often called upon to take on unhinged nut cases Ã¢â‚¬â€œ the aberrant likes of whom may make one long for the stability of Courtney Love Ã¢â‚¬â€œ and dive head first into a big bowl of “Crackpot Bouillabaisse” against knee-jerk fascists, totalitarian fist wavers and psychotic zealots– All this is offset by the lousy pay and unfair criticism from Malibu pinheads who will only appreciate your existence when there are Chinese tanks sitting in Rob Reiner’s foyer.
Don’t worry too much about all those actors you see criticizing you and /or your bosses. Career actors do a lot of protesting, but it’s not their reason for living. They’re good at whining, but still, it’s just something they do between films.
The Hollywood left stays here because good acting gigs are much harder to come by in socialist or communist countries. They can whine about this nation from Malibu, while making millions acting and directing. Or they could chastise and belittle the United States from China, while earning 75 Yuan a week for playing the lead in “If They Could See Me Mao” at the Wuhan Community Playhouse.
The freedom to make lots of money trumps any urge to actually be dumb enough to live in a country that practices what they preach.
Your critics in Hollywood may be against all wars, but they also can’t help but notice that films about your battles make great box-office draw. To them, wars are unnecessary, gross injustices to humanity Ã¢â‚¬â€œ immoral and illegal schemes that serve only the selfish and greedy whims of old white men. Oh, by the way, they also happen to be great topics from which they can reap a fortune for themselves, DreamWorks SKG and Paramount.
Though there’s plenty of criticism and finger pointing, you somehow manage to overlook this to do a job that keeps us safe and free.
Why do you do it? I’m sure there are many reasons, but there can be only one response: Thank you.