“Gimme a ‘D’! Gimme a ‘U’! Gimme an ‘M’! Gimme a ‘B’! What’s it spell? Texas Democrat Rep. Al Edwards!”

Texas is tackling what has become a full blown nuisance for those who force themselves to go home and pour battery acid on their corneas and jab forks in their eye sockets whenever they see panties and get unclean thoughts: Overly limber cheerleaders who jump too high.

The Texas state House has approved a bill to restrict “overtly sexually suggestive” cheerleading to more ladylike performances.

Rep. Al Edwards, who filed the legislation, says that questionable cheerleading performances are a distraction for students resulting in pregnancies, dropouts and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases… not to mention Congressmen getting embarrassing erections at high school football games.

I have no problem with the goal here, but it’s a parental and school issue. The government shouldn’t, nor could they, help solve this problem. It’s just another case of government sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong– Or their eyes, in this case.

I’m sure Al Edwards is hard at work right now, viewing tape after tape of Texas school sports halftime shows, taking detailed notes. This situation is similar to that preacher years ago who came out with a report on pornography, for which he “took one for the team” and viewed hundreds of hours of adult films. What a trooper!

Watching government hearings determining what constitutes “overtly sexually suggestive” cheerleading would make for worthwhile television, however, and could probably bring in a few bucks on pay-per-view.

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. MichelleMalkin.com alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: WriteDoug@Live.com.