When Newsweek Magazine reported that terrorist detainees in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba had been subjected to having to watch the Koran being flushed down the toilet, riots began across the Middle East, and 16 were killed in Afghanistan. It turns out the story wasn’t true.

Newsweek listened to the ol’ “knowledgeable government source”, which is always to be trusted in these situations (pause for laughter).

What’s so difficult about verifying this story? Picture yourself working the desk at Newsweek. You’re sitting there, typing with one hand and jamming a donut in your face with the other, and the phone rings. It’s a “knowledgeable government source”, and he says that Americans have been flushing Korans down the toilets at Guantanamo as a form of torture. What’s the first thing you’d do?

You guessed it. Fly down there and see just how big those toilets are. Have you ever seen a Koran? It’d have to be Paul Bunyon’s toilet to be able to flush one of those books down.

Anyway, now that we’ve established people in the Middle East read, and believe, Newsweek, maybe somebody can write an article claiming that Allah wants the price of oil cut by two-thirds.


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