Now you can take an areolaplane to Las Vegas and touch down on the glanding strip with a smile, grinning in the satisfaction that the slogan “You’ll love to fly, and it’ll show” is no lie.

Hooters Airlines, which began two years ago offering the atmosphere of a Hooters Restaurant and Hooters girls for flight attendants, is expanding. The only airline where you pray to God for heavy turbulence is now heading for Las Vegas, where the company will soon open a casino. According to Hooters Air’s website, the company has also expanded to Allentown, Pennsylvania

Not long ago, Hooters of America Chairman Robert Brooks failed in his attempt to buy Vanguard Airlines, and instead bought Winston-Salem based Pace Airlines. Brooks was a man with a dream– A dream to fulfill the dreams of breast-men. If that ain’t noble, I don’t know what is.

Why is Hooters Airlines expanding while most others are shrinking? Brooks is following the success of countless companies who have made billions using sex to sell, and has simply created what is nothing more than a Hooters at 30,000 feet.

No boring in-flight movies. No male flight attendants who won’t stop talking about Liza, and no more of the biggest cup on board being the one containing your coffee. Just good old, testosterone driven, 500-mph fun, where all seats come with a first-class view and, if need be, your stewardess can be used as a flotation device.

I still contend that Brooks could have come up with a better name for his airline– perhaps something like “North-chest”, “Tittish Airways”, or “United Areolalines”, but that’s neither here nor there.


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