Michael Jackson acquitted of all charges! Feel free to send your kids back to Neverland

Michael Jackson walks! Justice is served (warm milk and cookies).

The funniest thing to come from this case has been all the interviews with Michael’s friends and fans, who vehemently denied his guilt on child molestation charges. Then they were asked the follow-up question: “Would you let your kids spend the night at the Neverland Ranch?” Like real buddies, they answered “Hell no!”

A big sigh of relief is breathed by Jackson’s umbrella holder. Think of how hard it would have been for him to find a similar career. Umbrella holding gigs don’t grow on trees.

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About Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a blast of snark. Townhall Media editor. MichelleMalkin.com alum. Bowling novice.