Oprah believes she’s a Zulu — Rest of Zulus awaiting their free cars and jammy party

Oprah Winfrey had her DNA tested and, as a result of that test, believes she is a member of Africa’s Zulu nation.

Cancel the Live8 concert, because Africa now has all the money it needs!

Once Oprah looks further into her possible Zulu history, she may be surprised to discover that her ancestors once had a spiritual guide named “Witch Dr. Phil.”

Meanwhile, Maya Angelou is sweating away at the writing table in preparation for her next appearance on Oprah, desperately trying to think of a word that rhymes with “Zulu.”

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About Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a blast of snark. Townhall Media editor. MichelleMalkin.com alum. Bowling novice.