Ten ways to destroy the earth, besides Michael Moore falling down in the shower

LiveScience.com presents “10 ways to destroy the earth.” This is a list of actual ways to destroy the earth… not Al Gore ways, like mowing your lawn when it’s over 85 degrees and muggy out.

As one example of the geekiness of the whole thing, here’s #9 on the list of ways to destroy the earth:

Hijack control of the Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider in Brookhaven National Laboratory, Long Island, New York. Use the RHIC to create and maintain a stable strangelet. Keep it stable for as long as it takes to absorb the entire Earth into a mass of strange quarks. Keeping the strangelet stable is incredibly difficult once it has absorbed the stabilizing machinery, but creative solutions may be possible.

A while back, there was some media hoo-hah about the possibility of this actually happening at the RHIC, but in actuality the chances of a stable strangelet forming are pretty much zero.

Fortunately, this list does not mention the use of aerosol hairspray, so mall chicks and any 80’s metal band still touring can rest easy.

What else has been left off the list of things that would destroy the earth? I’ve already submitted “Michael Moore falling down in the shower,” so I’ll also have to add “Calista Flockhart exploding after eating a sandwich” and “Billy Joel spending a season on the Gran Prix circuit.”

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. MichelleMalkin.com alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: WriteDoug@Live.com.