Madonna falls off horse – may need extensive rehabilitation to regain fake British accent

Madonna celebrated her 47th birthday by riding horses with her assistant. It was then that Madonna discovered that the horse was intent on paying her back for her film career.

The singer/exhibitionist fell from the horse, and suffered several broken ribs, a broken hand, and a broken collarbone. It was worse than the time she was thrown from Dennis Rodman.

Madonna’s spokesperson said the accident happened because she was riding a horse she wasn’t familiar with– probably because it’s been a long time since Madonna climbed on something that didn’t have on nipple clamps, leather hood, and ball gag.

Madonna had better heal fast. She’s become a religious leader to many, now that she’s purchased a home in central London to use as a “Kabbalah Center.” This is a religion that’s also practiced by fellow intellectual gnats… I mean, giants– like Barbra Streisand, Demi Moore, Britney Spears and Paris Hilton.

In a related story, researchers as the “Hertfordshire Dopey Diva Institute” have harnessed the brain power of all those women, and successfully managed to toast a piece of bread (lightly, one side only).


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Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: