Chirac vows to help rioting French youth find work — rioters immediately unionize

It was inevitable. Jacque Chirac is starting to want to kiss and make up with the rioters.

“The events bear witness to a deep malaise”, said French President Jacques Chirac. Then he put down Jimmy Carter’s book and, via nationally televised address, spoke to any French citizen that wasn’t already busy watching a Jerry Lewis DVD.

The rioting in France seems to be simmering down a bit, but there’s still trouble brewing.

Chirac blamed the riots on poverty, racism, a lack of jobs, and exclusion from society. Other than that, socialism is, like, totally cool!

Jacques also announced the creation of a voluntary task force to help young people find work– a sort of “New Deal” for young punk-ass French Muslims.

At the very least, maybe their first “job” could be to clean up the mess they made. My guess is the rioters won’t accept that job though, since they’ve probably unionized already.

Even if Chirac’s program helps with employment, what’ll happen if they ever have to work over 35 hours in a week? Yep, another riot.

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Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: