Detroit Lions fire coach Mariucci — on to the next colossal disappointment

Yes, I admit it, I’m a Lions fan (rest of group responds “Hiii Doug”). Being a Lions fan is sort of like paying for hemorrhoids, so to that end I can’t explain why I follow the team, but I just do.

Detroit Lions coach Steve Mariucci has been fired by team President Matt Millen. Many Lions fans were hoping Millen would get carried away and can himself, but that didn’t happen.

Since 1957, the Lions have won one playoff game. One. Such was the influence of the great Barry Sanders, and none of that carried over.

For the past few seasons, Lions victories have been so rare that they’re not referred to in Detroit as wins, but rather as solstices. The Lions last won championships back in the 50’s, when the nation “liked Ike.” Then, in 1975, when Tina Turner hated Ike, the team got a new domed stadium, and you know what? They continued to stink.

After a brief playoff stint in the early 90’s, the team was back to its old ways, but, despite that, got an impressive new home: The $300 million Ford Field. In their first season on the brand-spankin’ new gridiron, the Lions won three games there. That’s $100 million per victory. Show me any other city willing to make that kind of commitment to their team.

Don’t cry for Mooch. He has over two years remaining on a $5 million-a-year contract. He rode into town as a potential savior for a down and out football franchise, and he rides out of town as one of the many who have tried and failed.

The Detroit Lions are owned by the Ford family. And all this time you thought the Edsel had been discontinued?

Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: