Monday’s column: The Crips, the Bloods, and the celebrity activists — which gang is the most dangerous?

Today’s column at WorldNetDaily, “Celebrity activists lose their Crip on reality“, discusses the case of Stanley “Tookie” Williams, convicted murderer and co-founder of the “Crips” gang, which has now been franchised from coast to coast like a U-Haul place.

Williams is scheduled to die by lethal injection in early December for the murder of four people in a pair of robberies back in 1979.

Williams has waded through almost all his appeals, a process that is so lengthy it makes the death penalty almost silly, since the sentence is often carried out first by God via old age. Williams’ final hope is a clemency hearing with his lawyers and Cal. Governor Schwarzenegger, which Arnold has granted.

This is all part of the “process”. No problem. What is amazing is how many celebrity activists are crawling from the woodwork claiming that either Williams was railroaded by cops, or he’s redeemed himself through his anti-gang activities since being jailed.

Bianca Jagger, Snoop Dogg, and the other cast of anti-death penalty characters, including Mike Farrell, Tim Robbins, Jesse Jackson, Noah Wylie, Danny “let me light that for ya, Fidel” Glover, Susan Sarandon, and the rest, are calling on the Governator to give Williams a stay of execution. Read their reasoning, or lack thereof, along with a petition, at SaveTookie.org.

Why is this case, and others like Leonard Peltier and Mumia Abu-Jamal, pet causes for the Hollywood left? Read today’s column, “Celebrities lose their Crip on reality“, to find out.

Snoop Dogg is asking Governor Schwarzenegger to spare Williams from receiving a “le-thizzle in-jizzle”

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Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.

"Amamanta" anatomically correct educational dolls: Give any future serial killer the gift of creepiness this Christmas

They are “ideal for explaining the reproductive cycle to boys and girls ages 3 to 10” says the makers of Amamanta dolls.

These dolls sport “true anatomical details, such as stitched-on genitalia and breasts”. So those of you who grew up on Hollywood Boulevard will feel completely at home.

Check these things out. They look like the sort of things the cops would find in the home of a man who says things like “It takes the lotion and it rubs it on its skin!”

The dolls are supposedly an asset in helping teach kids about reproductivity, and they replace the old, outdated dolls from which men of my generation had to learn about sex.

The dolls are hand-stitched in Medellin, Columbia, so who knows what they’re stuffed with. If your kid has a huge hankerin’ for Doritos after a play session, discontinue use.


Baby Amamanta takes nourishment from a Pamela Anderson doll (sold separately)

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Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.

“Amamanta” anatomically correct educational dolls: Give any future serial killer the gift of creepiness this Christmas

They are “ideal for explaining the reproductive cycle to boys and girls ages 3 to 10” says the makers of Amamanta dolls.

These dolls sport “true anatomical details, such as stitched-on genitalia and breasts”. So those of you who grew up on Hollywood Boulevard will feel completely at home.

Check these things out. They look like the sort of things the cops would find in the home of a man who says things like “It takes the lotion and it rubs it on its skin!”

The dolls are supposedly an asset in helping teach kids about reproductivity, and they replace the old, outdated dolls from which men of my generation had to learn about sex.

The dolls are hand-stitched in Medellin, Columbia, so who knows what they’re stuffed with. If your kid has a huge hankerin’ for Doritos after a play session, discontinue use.


Baby Amamanta takes nourishment from a Pamela Anderson doll (sold separately)

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Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.

"Monsieur Starsky and Le Hutch" — France to produce version of 70's TV show

Yes indeed, a French version of Starsky and Hutch is on the way. French producers say that the original version will have to be toned down a bit when remade for a French audience, because the American series, left, was “too macho” for a contemporary French audience. Uh oh.

Many episodes will be based on scripts from the original show. The French version will be called “Madani and Duval” and I imagine the boys will be hanging out with a street-smart pimp-like character named “Huggy Beret” and tool around in a bright red Renault with white stripes down the side.

The French love American television, but they also have a legal requirement that no more than 40% of their programs be of non-European origin. Jerry Lewis movie imports alone bring them up to their 40% limit, so they must produce their own versions of American hits.

Fortunately for the French government, the after effects of recent rioting in that country has meant that national television can remake the films “Armageddon” and “The Day After” with little outlay for special effects.

“Starsky and Hutch” is also a big hit in Greece, say producers

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Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.

“Monsieur Starsky and Le Hutch” — France to produce version of 70’s TV show

Yes indeed, a French version of Starsky and Hutch is on the way. French producers say that the original version will have to be toned down a bit when remade for a French audience, because the American series, left, was “too macho” for a contemporary French audience. Uh oh.

Many episodes will be based on scripts from the original show. The French version will be called “Madani and Duval” and I imagine the boys will be hanging out with a street-smart pimp-like character named “Huggy Beret” and tool around in a bright red Renault with white stripes down the side.

The French love American television, but they also have a legal requirement that no more than 40% of their programs be of non-European origin. Jerry Lewis movie imports alone bring them up to their 40% limit, so they must produce their own versions of American hits.

Fortunately for the French government, the after effects of recent rioting in that country has meant that national television can remake the films “Armageddon” and “The Day After” with little outlay for special effects.

“Starsky and Hutch” is also a big hit in Greece, say producers

_________

Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.

"Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job at irony": Ex FEMA chief starts disaster preparedness firm

Former FEMA boss Michael Brown, who was beaten up over the ineffectiveness of his agency in the wake of Hurricane Katrina and later resigned, has started a disaster preparedness firm.

Hey, don’t laugh. If Jimmy Carter can be considered an expert on how to run a country, Brown can help people prepare for disasters.

Brown, whose emails to his secretary and others during Katrina helped put the final nails in his public coffin, now awaits word on when New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin will start his company, “Bus-B-Dry“.

The message from Brown’s secretary advising him to “roll your sleeves up” when appearing in public somehow instead ended up in Bush’s e-mail

_________

Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.

“Brownie, you’re doing a heck of a job at irony”: Ex FEMA chief starts disaster preparedness firm

Former FEMA boss Michael Brown, who was beaten up over the ineffectiveness of his agency in the wake of Hurricane Katrina and later resigned, has started a disaster preparedness firm.

Hey, don’t laugh. If Jimmy Carter can be considered an expert on how to run a country, Brown can help people prepare for disasters.

Brown, whose emails to his secretary and others during Katrina helped put the final nails in his public coffin, now awaits word on when New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin will start his company, “Bus-B-Dry“.

The message from Brown’s secretary advising him to “roll your sleeves up” when appearing in public somehow instead ended up in Bush’s e-mail

_________

Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.

A conservative Thanksgiving

This Thanksgiving, may your family be well and your turkey have smokin’ hot tan lines!

I’ve begun my morning fast in preparation for an afternoon food offensive of D-Day proportions, and vowed to do my best to keep in check the Tourette Syndrome that always accompanies watching a Lions game.

Of the things to be most thankful for are, of course, family and friends, including the regular readers of this space. The ability of the latter to differentiate between the real and the satirical is impressive, and much appreciated. For those who have shown that they can’t tell the difference between the real and the satirical, I’m also thankful– because if it weren’t for you, the rest would have less at which to laugh.

This Thanksgiving, there are a few other things that I’m indeed thankful for. These include…

–I’m thankful for Hillary and Bill Rodham Clinton and their “wait and see” approach on whether or not the Iraq war was the right thing to do. If history views it favorably, they’ll be for it, and if it’s a disaster, they’ll be against it. Gutsy. Real gutsy. Cajones like that are rare in leaders these days.

–I’m thankful for the hypocritical left. The “share the wealth” caring nurturers who live in gated communities, whine about fossil-fuel pollution, think that public schools are just dandy, and then drive their kids to Montessori in an SUV.

–I’m thankful for those feminists who champion the cause of women’s rights and never selling out to men, while their grandkids are in the backyard playing balloon toss with one of their old breast implants.

–I’m thankful for folk singer Joni Mitchell, who once chastised us for paving paradise and putting up a parking lot, and just five years ago amended that to say that paving paradise was OK, provided the paradise was in Toronto, and the pavement was used to construct an area to display her star on the “Canadian Walk of Fame.”

–I’m thankful for Michael Moore, fighter against all forms of corporate greed, except book-publishing companies, movie theaters and all-you-can-eat buffets. Moore is special in that he has the audacity to urge people to give money to his corporation to see or read his latest attempts at making us hate corporations.

–I’m thankful for Ted Kennedy’s face, the sight of which reminds some of us of the honey glazed, spiral sliced ham we’ll be consuming at over the holidays.

–I’m thankful for the U.S. military, who defend our freedom– even our freedom to say what they’re doing is wrong, which we wouldn’t have the freedom to say if they weren’t doing what some of us say they shouldn’t be doing. It’s a fascinating irony.

–I’m thankful for the Kennedy assassination-style reportage of the separation of Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson. Without being reminded of their split by a gossip mongering press with out-of-whack priorities, I wouldn’t be reminded that, in this stressful world, there are still things for which I’m completely and utterly indifferent.

Happy Thanksgiving, all!

“What’s my opinion of euthenasia? Well… they’re on the other side of the world, but they seem to be a lot like kids over here.”

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Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.

Ruth Siems, inventor of stuffing, dies — fowl play, bad pun suspected

A nation mourns the loss of the Thomas Edison of bread crumbs.

This from today’s New York Times:

Ruth M. Siems, a retired home economist whose best-known innovation will make its appearance, welcome or otherwise, in millions of homes tomorrow, died on Nov. 13 at her home in Newburgh, Ind. Ms. Siems, an inventor of Stove Top stuffing, was 74.

Tomorrow, as you’re preparing that Stove Top stuffing for its hot three hour journey inside a Butterball, think of Ms. Siems, look up, and say “thanks Ruth!”

“There are those who look at the empty body cavity of a gutted turkey and ask ‘why?’. I dream of how tasty bread crumbs would be in that orifice and ask ‘why not?'” – Ruth M. Siems

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Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.

Justice Antonin Scalia's speech gets Gore-y

This should throw the “The Supreme Court butted in and appointed Bush in 2000” crowd into a code-red ‘roid flareup. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia said that the Court didn’t interject itself into the 2000 Bush/Gore race– it was dragged to them by the Gore people.

As for accepting the case, Scalia said, “The issue was whether Florida’s Supreme Court or the United States Supreme Court [would decide the election.] What did you expect us to do? Turn the case down because it wasn’t important enough?”

I’m sure Gore will respond to Scalia’s defense of the Court, just as soon as he finishes delivering a “State of the Union” speech in front of the bathroom mirror and speaking into a hair brush, and then has a state dinner for a confused Labrador Retriever and two Chia Heads.
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Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.