This is them? And all along I just thought Edgar Winter got married again. But no, on the left you see Carolyn Conrad and Kathleen Peterson during much happier days.

Vermont produced Howard Dean, and in that state, Howard isn’t considered all that weird. That’s all you need to know about Vermont. So it’s not surprising that the Green Mountain State was also the location of the first gay civil union.

The first gay couple ever to engage in a civil union in America is splitting up due to allegations of violence. Too bad. Seriously.

I like lesbians. I don’t really know why, but they always have and always will hold a special place in my heart. It has nothing at all to do with attractiveness, either, since attractive lesbians are rare indeed. Your have a better chance of running across DB Cooper and Sasquatch in a phone booth than of finding a hot lesbian. Those “Al Bundy” lesbians don’t exist, at least not in Michigan. You As Jerry Seinfeld once said, when you see an attractive lesbian couple, something inside you just wants to go over and congratulate them.

My relationship with the lesbian world has always possessed an Ayn Rand-ish quality. They don’t expect anything from me, and I don’t expect anything from them. It works.

Objectivism finds a true home in my relationship with lesbians. My own version of John Galt is a stocky woman with a spiked ‘do working at the corner hardware store.

I also thought they made good couples as a result, and since I enjoy a certain predictability in life, and lesbians offered that– at least, until this piece of bad news.

Before you even meet a lesbian couple you know what to expect. One will be soft spoken, shy, and a good cook, and the other will have a mullet haircut and the ability to clean-and-jerk a refrigerator.

Now, thanks to this split, the dream is over. Lesbian couples are just like so many of the rest of us; getting divorced, calling attorneys, and fighting over the kd lang CD collection– well, two out of three at least.

Rosie O’Donnell’s mullet has been flying at half-staff since hearing the sad news

_________

Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.

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