Well, 2005 is just about history, but it brought some fun moments as far as my columns, stories, essays, and other stuff is concerned. Of course, there was the release of my book late this summer, but my main focus has always been on my weekly column, along with some newspaper op-eds and other stories and essays.
Before I start planning for 2006, which, of course, will come shortly after I’m done watching the “Tostitos-Valvoline-Chick-fil-a- Depends-Ty-D-Bol-Viagra-Cialis- Trojan-John Deere-Kraft-RotoRooter-eHarmony.com Fiesta Bowl”, I’d like to reflect on the previous 12 months.
Here are a handful of my personal favorites from 2005:
In February of 2005, there were the first Iraqi elections since the removal of Saddam Hussein. It was the detractors vs. the optimists. In other words, it ended up as “Ink on finger vs. egg on face”
In April of 2005, a couple of historians said that Abraham Lincoln was gay. I discussed the claim in “Four score and seven queers ago“.
Hooters Airlines is expanding rapidly. Could it be coming to a city near you? I talk about it in this Lansing State Journal op-ed, “Hooters Air confirms it: Sex sells“.
That same month, producers of Sesame Street announced that the Cookie Monster would switch to a more healthy diet and lighten up on the cookies. I suggested some other characters for the show in order to continue to reflect today’s society in “Sesame Street tosses its cookies“.
As the Abu Ghraib photos began to circulate, Ted Kennedy celebrated like he was on Bourbon Street putting beads around the necks of shirt-lifting chicks. Why? Because “Ted Kennedy celebrates Mardi Ghraib“.
July 2005: Hillary Clinton begins a long, arduous, and comical move to the right in preparation for a White House run. The trek from leftist to centrist is a lengthy one for Hillary, and may turn into the Donner Party crossing. I talked about it in “Is Hillary aborting her principles?”
My July 31st essay which ran in the Sunday edition of the Honolulu Advertiser discussing the future of the human race as it concerns space exploration: Lost in space.
Nothing’s funnier than when white liberals who never met a minority they didn’t love will throw a black conservative on the bus of racism for a drive back to the Jim Crow era. This is what they did and do with Condoleezza, and it will only get worse if she should run for high office. “Like white on Rice” discusses it.
Who doesn’t like tragedy exploitation? I know I do. That’s what Democrats did in the wake of hurricane Katrina. They taught us “Tragedy exploitation for fun & profit“.
What happens when a train carrying do-gooder liberal types overturns, spilling its contents into an unsuspecting, formerly normal town? It becomes a victim of spilled liberalism. Frightening!
In late October of 2005, California’s infamous Ninth Circuit Court ruled that parents have no say over what their kids are taught in school as it concerns sex. The madness is dissected in “Schoolhouse Crock“.
Tookie Williams was put to death this month, and with him, Hollywood activism. Several Malibu morons jumped up on the gurney with Williams in “Hollywood receives a lethal rejection“.
What does 2006 have in store for us? Here are my predictions.
On the non-political front, are you parents out there unable to find some alone time what with all the madness? In January of ’05 I wrote “A mom and dad’s guide to uninterrupted but not necessarily dignified sex“. You can thank me later.
And then, of course, there is the “Death of classic lesbianism” we’ve all been witnessing. There aren’t any good chick-on-chick trysts like the Joan Crawford/Marilyn Monroe romp anymore. Why?
Ever wonder how it came to be that we celebrate our birthdays? Me neither. I wrote about it anyway.
Happy New Year everybody! See you on the other side.
Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.
I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.