Monthly Archives: December 2005

"I pledge allegiance to the court": High School student recruited as next ACLU paper-hat trainee

There is a high school kid in Florida who won’t stand for the Pledge of Allegiance. He’s refusing to be ordered to put this bumper sticker next to the flame decals on his ’92 Malibu, and, with some assistance, is suing the school district.

Well good for you, you junior revolutionary! Congratulations. Instead of being a puppet for a corrupt and zealous government, you’re now a butt-boy for the ACLU.

In Palm Beach County, a high school junior is suing his school district claiming he was ridiculed after refusing to stand during the Pledge of Allegiance. The ACLU was, like Charlie Sheen at a gang-bang, quick to join in. The ACLU looks for wayward high school students to recruit like R. Kelly in the girls locker room.

Was anybody else aware that Michael Newdow had a son in Florida?

Florida state law says that students do not have to recite the Pledge if they have a written note from their parents, but they are required to stand during the recitation. Nobody was making the kid recite the Pledge, just stand during it.

So, breaking state law is a “civil liberty”? Boy, this kid has a bright future with this kind of tutelage. See ya on visiting day, kid.

Our friends at “StopTheACLU.com” have this and other wingnut stories covered.

Interested in learning more about the subject of the ACLU? Check out the following book:

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Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.

“I pledge allegiance to the court”: High School student recruited as next ACLU paper-hat trainee

There is a high school kid in Florida who won’t stand for the Pledge of Allegiance. He’s refusing to be ordered to put this bumper sticker next to the flame decals on his ’92 Malibu, and, with some assistance, is suing the school district.

Well good for you, you junior revolutionary! Congratulations. Instead of being a puppet for a corrupt and zealous government, you’re now a butt-boy for the ACLU.

In Palm Beach County, a high school junior is suing his school district claiming he was ridiculed after refusing to stand during the Pledge of Allegiance. The ACLU was, like Charlie Sheen at a gang-bang, quick to join in. The ACLU looks for wayward high school students to recruit like R. Kelly in the girls locker room.

Was anybody else aware that Michael Newdow had a son in Florida?

Florida state law says that students do not have to recite the Pledge if they have a written note from their parents, but they are required to stand during the recitation. Nobody was making the kid recite the Pledge, just stand during it.

So, breaking state law is a “civil liberty”? Boy, this kid has a bright future with this kind of tutelage. See ya on visiting day, kid.

Our friends at “StopTheACLU.com” have this and other wingnut stories covered.

Interested in learning more about the subject of the ACLU? Check out the following book:

_________

Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.

Monday's WorldNetDaily column: "2006 — The year in preview"

At the end of every year, my prognosticating alter-ego, who we’ll call “Nostradumbass”, fortells what will happen in the upcoming year. The accuracy rate of the predictions have proven to outshine even that of Miss Cleo and Jack van Impe.

Here are just a couple of examples of events that are coming our way:

–California’s 9th Circuit Court will outlaw opposite-sex marriage

–A new set of photos, purported to be from Abu-Ghraib, will cause a stir after they begin circulating around Capitol Hill, but the scandal will run out of steam after they turn out to be pictures from Elton John’s wedding reception.

–Harry Belafonte will again accuse various conservative black Americans of being “Uncle Toms”, and then continue singing and dancing for a crowd of mostly white people.

Read the entire list of predictions for 2006 here.

Bonus prediction:

A major bio-terrorism plot will be thwarted after the CIA uncovers a secret plan by Islamic extremists to throw Michael Moore into New York City’s public water supply.

_________

Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.

Monday’s WorldNetDaily column: “2006 — The year in preview”

At the end of every year, my prognosticating alter-ego, who we’ll call “Nostradumbass”, fortells what will happen in the upcoming year. The accuracy rate of the predictions have proven to outshine even that of Miss Cleo and Jack van Impe.

Here are just a couple of examples of events that are coming our way:

–California’s 9th Circuit Court will outlaw opposite-sex marriage

–A new set of photos, purported to be from Abu-Ghraib, will cause a stir after they begin circulating around Capitol Hill, but the scandal will run out of steam after they turn out to be pictures from Elton John’s wedding reception.

–Harry Belafonte will again accuse various conservative black Americans of being “Uncle Toms”, and then continue singing and dancing for a crowd of mostly white people.

Read the entire list of predictions for 2006 here.

Bonus prediction:

A major bio-terrorism plot will be thwarted after the CIA uncovers a secret plan by Islamic extremists to throw Michael Moore into New York City’s public water supply.

_________

Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.

Merry Christmas and many happy gift returns

I’m mostly taking today off, with the exception of the exercise I’ll get ripping the wrapping paper from a couple of boxes, undoing the heavily tethered toys from their packaging for the kids, and doing 12-ounce curls.

Be sure to check back tomorrow at WorldNetDaily for Monday’s column, or check here at the blog for a link to it. It’s the annual “year in preview” set of predictions for the coming 12 months. Should be fun.

Until then, enjoy your Christmas, and best wishes for a happy and prosperous 2006.

_________

Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.

What will you do with the extra second this year?

We’ve got some extra time to kill this year!

According to the International Earth Rotation and Reference Systems Service, based at the Paris Observatory, 2005 will contain an extra second.

The required leap second will be added at the end of 31st December, thus delaying the arrival of 2006 by one second. Although this will be the 23rd such leap second to be added since its introduction at the end of June 1972, this year’s leap second will be the first for seven years.

So, what will you do with your extra second? There’s plenty you can do. After all, one second or less is all the time it would take to…

–Make a list of all the Democrat strategies to defeat terrorism

–Watch Rep. John Conyers wife kick a woman’s ass in a bar fight

–Sentence a scumbag murderer to death and have half of Hollywood show up to protest outside the prison

–Watch the video “Ted Kennedy: The useful years”

–Find three instances of blatant bias in the New York Times

–Meet Maureen Dowd in a bar, look at her feet, and suspect she’s a dude

–Invent something and then have John McCain team up with the Democrat du Jour to regulate it

–Send a pregnant teen into the Senate chamber and watch Barbara Boxer come running out with a coat hanger

–Listen to a flaming liberal go from ordering everybody not to smoke, drink, eat meat, drive SUV’s, display Christian symbols, hunt, fish, shop at Walmart, and attend conservative lectures — to bashing Bush for invasion of privacy

–Successfully counter the lingering effects of Cialis by looking at Helen Thomas

–Witness Bill Clinton going from weepy mourning to “just got my ass tickled” laughter

–Witness Hillary Clinton turn on a dime, switching from “icy cold glare” to “arctic scowl”

–Turn on television camera lights in Los Angeles and get Jesse Jackson on a plane from Chicago

–Read Tom Daschle’s op-ed in the Washington Post and remember why voters kicked him out of the senate

–Announce an anti-war rally and greet an out of breath has-been folk singer

–Begin to air a Japanese monster movie on national television and prompt Michael Newdow to file a lawsuit to have the word “God” removed from “Godzilla”

You could spend your extra second viewing Cindy Sheehan’s entire 15 minutes of fame
_________

Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.

Washington Times runs Cliffs Notes version of Monday's column on the death of Hollywood activism

Monday’s WorldNetDaily column, “Hollywood receives a lethal rejection“, is now available for those with incredibly short attention-spans for whom 750 words is 550 to many.

This is where the Washington Times’ “Culture Briefs” section comes in handy. They seem to be fans of my column, as they’ve run several “briefs”. Now if I could just get them to run the full-length versions, we’d be in business.

The short version of “Lethal rejection” is here. It’s the second one called “Hollywood hero”. Click “next” for the conclusion on the following page.

If you’re so inclined, drop the Washington Times’ editors a note and tell them you’d like to see my column in their paper.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled Friday.
_________

Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.

Washington Times runs Cliffs Notes version of Monday’s column on the death of Hollywood activism

Monday’s WorldNetDaily column, “Hollywood receives a lethal rejection“, is now available for those with incredibly short attention-spans for whom 750 words is 550 to many.

This is where the Washington Times’ “Culture Briefs” section comes in handy. They seem to be fans of my column, as they’ve run several “briefs”. Now if I could just get them to run the full-length versions, we’d be in business.

The short version of “Lethal rejection” is here. It’s the second one called “Hollywood hero”. Click “next” for the conclusion on the following page.

If you’re so inclined, drop the Washington Times’ editors a note and tell them you’d like to see my column in their paper.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled Friday.
_________

Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.

Pollution wards off global warming — eat that, Al Gore

That smell? The gift of life, my friend!

Fire up the SUV’s, fellow fuel hogs. Rip that catalytic converter from the underside of your vehicle, oh purveyer of carbon monoxide. Send a “thank you” note to Los Angeles, and run to the nearest cow pasture and yell “Fart, you bowel beleaguered bovine! Fart!”

Pollution could be saving our lives.

No, this isn’t official parody news , as I first suspected. It isn’t from Scrappleface, the Borowitz Report, Broken Newz, The Spoof, or any other fake news service that bills itself as a fake news service.

It’s from a fake news service billing itself as a real news service: The New York Times. Yes, the Old Gray Lady has been stricken with Alzheimers and is exhibiting behavior that leaves the reader more confused than Anna Nicole Smith in a flight simulator.

We’re constantly told that the United States and its horrendous pollutions is destroying the planet and causing global warming. Now comes this article in the New York Times “Science” section: Pollution May Slow Warming; Cleaner Air May Speed It, Study Says.

Pollution may be slowing global warming, researchers are reporting today, and a cleaner environment may soon speed it up.

Writing in the journal Nature, an international scientific team provides evidence suggesting that a reduction in haze from human causes may accelerate warming of the earth’s atmosphere. The researchers said pollutants had held down the rate of global warming by absorbing and scattering sunlight.

“If people clean up the air, more warming will come blazing through,” Jim Coakley, a professor of atmospheric sciences at Oregon State University in Corvallis, said yesterday in a telephone interview. Nature selected Dr. Coakley to write a commentary on the study.

I can see the bumper stickers now: “Save the planet: Burn your garbage”.

Captain Hazelwood, you are hereby granted clemency. You were saving us from ourselves and yet we yelled at you. Put another one on the rocks and put it on our tab. You were sentenced to 1,000 hours of picking up garbage along Alaska highways, but, on second thought, just leave it there!

We will fight against global warming, one lake at a time
_________

Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.

"What's the frequency, Brent?" — The "shabbiest media moments of 2005" awards

“And the award for ‘Best investigative report to be more heavily made-up than Joan Collins’ goes to…”

Brent Bozell has a column entitled “The shabbiest media moments” at Townhall today. Here’s the lead-in to Bozell’s column:

The Media Research Center and a panel of more than 50 judges have compiled an annual “Best Notable Quotables,” a collection of the media’s greatest stinkers in the past 12 months. The utterances speak volumes about our supposedly ideologically detached press corps.

The MSM gems include Matt Lauer accusing a GI in Iraq of lying to him about troop morale, a CNN reporter saying the riots in France were started after police electrocuted “two African-American teenagers”, David Gergen sucking up to Rodham-Clinton to the point that Hillary’s next colonoscopy revealed two benign polyps and Gergen’s nose, and Dan Rather continuing to stand by his Bush National Guard story.

If you have some extra time, the Townhall column is merely a synopsis of Bozell’s Media Research Center full report on MSM silliness. The entire train-wreck of media hilarity is here.

MRC also has many of the actual clips recorded by the honorees live from left-wing La-La-Land that are destined to go down in history in moonbat lore.


Jon Stewart and Larry King: One man works for a network famous for its news parodies and satirical approach to current events, and the other works for Comedy Central

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Note: My first book, “‘Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!’ – A conservative father fields confusing questions from his confused kids about a confusing world – Inadequate explanations of politics, parenting, economics, war, technology, and the future of the human race” is now available in paperback or as a downloadable Ebook. Click here to buy directly from Booklocker. It’s also available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

I’ve set up a page containing short samples from each chapter. Click here for chapter samples.