Senator Kennedy wants to know: What would you ask Judge Alito? Let's help Ted out

Brace yourselves… it’s getting bumpy in Washington.

As the grilling of Judge Samuel Alito turns into a circus and the manly Democrat inquisitors relish in making girls cry, the Judicial Committee continues to prove it’s loaded with more sore and bitter bungholes than the waiting room of an attorney who specializes in proctology malpractice.
Now we learn that the Democrats still need your help.

The following question appears on

Senator Kennedy wants to know, what would you ask Samuel Alito?

Okay, I’ve already asked Teddy to grill Samuel Alito on the following. Go there and add some to the list and hope that we get to hear them at today’s hearing.

Questions for Ted Kennedy to ask Samuel Alito:

“Judge Alito, do you believe that a woman’s right to choose is put on temporary hold provided it’s past midnight at Au Bar and everybody is drunk?”

“Judge Alito, when I was campaiging for John Kerry, I praised the Senator for once saving someone from drowning. Have you ever laughed harder in your life, and if so, at what?”

“Judge Alito, do you ever get the feeling that, as a child, Senator Schumer routinely had his head flushed in the toilet by mean kids and for some reason he’s decided to blame it all on you?”

“Judge Alito, before making my decision, can Senator Dodd and myself meet privately with Mrs. Alito?”

“Judge Alito, what’s the best product for getting water damage and dashboard fingernail scratches out of a ’67 Oldsmobile Delta 88?”

“Judge Alito, while on the Supreme Court would you ever consider a return to prohibition, and if so, what would be the penalty for, say, running rum?”

One final note: On Kennedy’s website, I particularly enjoyed the “Alito’s credibility problem” page. It’s so wordy, slimy, greasy, and smelly that it almost made me forget about Senator Kennedy many credibility problems. To that end, I suppose Kennedy’s words acheived their goal.

Late afternoon addendum— In case anybody may wonder from where my somewhat comical skeptical approach comes, I just got this email from my mother:

Haven’t heard anyone suggest this but – What if Alito turns out to be (gag) Souter!?

We’ll know we’re in trouble if Alito is spotted moving in with Souter’s mom. Hopefully David won’t get jealous.

Senator Chuck Schumer, who treats everyone as if he’s an underappreciated, overzealous, sexually frustrated, bullied as a child Piggly-Wiggly manager with latent feelings of inadequacy and delusions of grandeur conducting a bag-boy training seminar, is asked to hold up a list of things he’s never read

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Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: