With it all too certain that Hillary Clinton will be running for president in 2008, the shape of the face of even the bravest of men and women is beginning to contort into a sickening wince, an expression that could only be matched by barging into a fitting room at “Marx’s Big & Tall” and seeing a shirtless Michael Moore struggling to put on a pair of spandex pants.
Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton is locking up some of the Democratic Party’s top fund-raisers, in a move that party officials and strategists say seems intended to complicate the efforts of any potential rivals in the 2008 presidential contest.
The signs are all pointing in that direction. The speculation started back when Hillary went to Iowa in 2003 for a fundraiser, and, just last spring, invited a bunch of Iowans to come visit her in DC for yet another fundraiser.
Hillary would never rub elbows with Iowans unless she was having caucus thoughts and was sucking up for votes–either that or the visitors were Des Moines cattle futures traders.
After the DC fundraising dinner with Iowans last spring (the Hawkeyes were excited as they’d never eaten from official White House china before), Hillary’s spokeswoman, Ann Lewis, said the invitation to Iowans has nothing to do with 2008, but is simply a fund-raiser for Hillary’s 2006 Senate campaign.
Sure. The first thing a senator representing the state of New York does when it’s time to raise money for re-election is invite over a bunch of people from Iowa.
Sometimes it sucks to be from Iowa
I’ve always had a place in my heart for Iowans, in consideration of their consistent suffering. Being the first political test for those running for president, the landscape of Iowa is consistently being dotted with Hawkeye plops roughly the size and consistency of, well, politicians.
Iowans are subject to, on a consistent basis, suck-up visits from every two-bit, race-baiting used-car salesman, cheeseball glad-hander, and yawping simp imaginable. And if that’s not sufficiently horrifying, they bring their friends.
Take the 2004 Iowa Caucus, for example. It wasn’t bad enough that politicians had to invade the state, but Iowans also had to endure campaign visitors from Mali-boob, Calif., such as Rob Reiner and Martin Sheen. “Meathead,” as he is best known to many, was campaigning for Howard Dean. So was Reiner.
Iowans even had a visit from singer Michael Bolton, who was campaigning for Dick Gephardt. It is reasonable to assume that Michael Bolton’s campaign speech was a bad remake of somebody else’s campaign speech.
Does Hillary have a chance? Of course. She scores big on the Democrats’ report card: On party loyalty, she gets an “A.” On towing the line on the seven core values of the Democrat Party Ã¢â‚¬â€œ abortion, gun control, high taxes, abortion, abortion, abortion and abortion Ã¢â‚¬â€œ she gets an “A.” And on the ability to boast three home states, she gets an “A.”
Some Democrats will try to derail her nomination, but Hillary will be a formidable opponent and they’ll end up backing down, partly because she’ll be armed with tons of cash and suitcases full of FBI files.