The Bong and Winding Road: "Chief Wana Dubie" Running for Missouri State Rep. Seat

The unofficial candidate filing list from the Missouri Secretary of State says it all.

Not surprisingly, Chief Wana Dubie, who I affectionately reefer to as Toking Bull, is running as a Libertarian, and his only opponent so far is Jason Smith, the Republican candidate.

The campaign slogan possibilities for Chief Wana Dubie are endless:

–“Are you better off now than you were four hits ago?”

–“Tippecanoe and Doritos too”

–“Some pot in every chicken and a van with flame decals in every garage”

–“Missouri will soon be fixed, not to mention dilated”

–“It’s morning in America. I’ll be up in about four hours”

–“Shining the black light of truth”

–“The only candidate endorsed by Willie Nelson”

–“Government of the people, by the people, and for the people, shall… hey, is that an ice cream truck?”

–“Building a bridge to 21st century Columbia”

Our best wishes are with the Chief for a successful candidacy, but who knows… by the time the election rolls around, there’s a good chance that Dubie may not Wana work. If he does win though, is the nation ready for a politician who doesn’t get out of bed until noon or even show up on some days? Yes, I think so.

The Chief’s primary area of expertise is agriculture, according to his campaign spokesperson


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Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: