Lord of the Fleiss: Charlie Sheen the New Leader of 9/11 Conspiracists

Up until recently, I was beginning to think that Charlie Sheen wasn’t the son of Martin Sheen. The first clue was that he had the same last name, and what child of Martin Sheen has the last name “Sheen”? Not many.

The second clue was that Charlie seemed to have confined his exploits to prostitutes and general debauchery like booze and cocaine. Chuck’s arrests weren’t like his dad’s, such as when Martin was busted in 1995 for his five-decade-late protest of the dropping of **Fat Man and Little Boy on Japan.

(**note to liberal youngsters: when we say “Fat Man and Little Boy” we’re not talking about Michael Moore and George Stephanopoulos)

But all good things must end. Charlie can’t fight the Martin Sheen genes anymore, as he’s now saying that 9/11 couldn’t have happened the way the government tells it. The collapse of the World Trade Centers looked like a “controlled demolition” to him, and he doubts a plane actually hit the Pentagon.

Of course, Charlie was baked on Acapulco red and had a whore sitting on his face at the time, but dammit, he knows what he saw! 

And just when I thought a Sheen had risen ‘high’ enough to escape the moonbat vacuum…

Et tu, Chuck?

For the other side, click on the “comments” tab and hear from those who are defending Charlie’s take. Questions for those who are pro-conspiracy: What did the government, or whoever was responsible, do with all the people who were ticketed on the plane that didn’t hit the Pentagon? Was it shot down over the water? Are they being held captive in the same hangar where the moon landing was faked? (theories abound, but most I’ve heard about are quickly shaved by Occam’s Razor)

And the biggest question of all: How many people would it have taken to pull off this enormously deceptive operation, and how is it possible to keep them all quiet? That’s even more amazing than all the other parts of these theories put together.

More late stuff…your help needed…

I’m working on a column about this. Not really on Sheen, but more on the accusation of conspiracy. My opinion is clear, but I’m open to considering things such as, if this was an “inside job”, then who is responsible, and what is the hard evidence against these people. I’m looking for facts, not just wishful “Bush did it to jack up oil prices…” talk, with ghosts running around planting explosives everywhere.

“WTC 7 was a controlled demolition, and so were the towers”…. great, then who did it? You can’t indict a stick of dynamite. Where are the passengers from the plane that didn’t hit the Pentagon? Evidence please, not theories that were spelled out in Oliver Stone’s bong water.

In the absence of any of this information, the entire debate is running around in circles, and this is relegated to “perfect crime” status, and there is no such thing, meaning there was no such perfect crime, just the crime that exists as we know it… terrorism.


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Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. MichelleMalkin.com alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: WriteDoug@Live.com.