The Perfect Web Storm: George Clooney’s Gawker Revenge

Have you ever wanted to know what your favorite celebrities are up to at all times? What they’re wearing at any particular time? What street corner they’re standing near? Me neither. But apparently an awful lot of people do.

There is a website that I hadn’t previously heard of, called “Gawker Stalker” where people go to and post where they’ve just seen celebrities in New York City. I guess it’s called “Gawker Stalker” because the “” domain name was taken, but that’s neither here nor there.

George Clooney hates this site, thinking it may put lives in danger by deranged wackos. I can’t believe I’m saying this about a liberal like Clooney, but the guy’s right. When it comes to deranged wackos, nobody knows ’em better than a Hollywood leftist.

Here’s George’s plan:

George Clooney is known as a prankster, but his plan to undermine a website that posts celebrity sightings is no joke, his publicist said yesterday.

Clooney has suggested swamping’s ”Gawker Stalker” feature with false notes about stars’ whereabouts, spokesman Stan Rosenfield said. In an e-mail Rosenfield recently distributed on Clooney’s behalf to other high-powered publicists, the actor calls for publicity firms and their clients to join the effort against the site that some have called a threat to celebrities.

”There is a simple way to render these guys useless,” Clooney said in the message. ”Flood their website with bogus sightings.”

So, if you feel like helping Clooney out, send your “sightings” to If you don’t feel like helping Clooney out, go to NYC and tell Gawker Stalker where Clooney actually is right now.

Here are a few bogus “sightings” as starters for those of you with enough ambition to email Gawker:

Sighting: Barbra Streisand, seen at W. 57th and 8th in a chariot being pulled by James Brolin while carrying a placard which reads “stop the ilegil war in Irack and this currupt administrayshun”.

Sighting: Danny Glover, standing on Broadway, apparently unable to hail a cab.

Sighting: Alec Baldwin, seen on the corner of 34th and Avenue of the Americas, sticking pins on a doll that looks like Sean Hannity while peering in a bakery window saying “mmm, croissants”.

Sighting: Paris Hilton, spotted coming out of Saks on 5th, subsequently seen chasing a ball of yarn down the street and waving at herself in storefront mirrors.

Sighting: Danny Glover, one block farther north on Broadway, still trying to hail a cab. Appears really pissed now.

Sighting: Mickey Rourke, near the corner of 23rd and 10th, checking pay phone coin returns for dinner money.

Sighting: Winona Ryder, on 3rd Ave, running out of Bloomingdale’s followed by three security guards.

Sighting: Danny Glover, still on Broadway, furious and has jumped in front of a cab to stop it, but the driver has made his way around him and moved on while Glover waves his fist.

Sighting: (from Ken) By God! I just spotted George C.Looney masturbating on the alligator fountain in San Jacinto Plaza in downtown El Paso!

More to come… 


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Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: