If You're Alone In Fiji and Keith Richards Falls From a Palm Tree, Does It Make a Coherent Sound?

Keith Richards, Rolling Stones guitarist and the man to whom the Cryptkeeper once said, “dude, you’re lettin’ yourself go”,  fell out of a palm tree in Fiji, hit his head, and suffered a concussion.

Friends and family fear brain damage because they can now understand every word Keef says.

Fell out of a palm tree? Oh, I’ll bet there’s a fun story behind that.

This isn’t the first time Keef has been befuddled by gravity. Eight years ago, Richards fell off a ladder at his home in Connecticut while trying to get a book off a shelf in his library. Keef hurt his ribs and chest, and a tour was postponed. The world was in shock: “Keith Richards has a library?

What was he doing on a ladder in his home? You guessed it: because there aren’t any palm trees in there.

After the ladder incident, Keef’s agent said he definitely “had not been drinking“. Entertainment industry translation: he’d been drinking.

Get well soon, Keef!

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Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. MichelleMalkin.com alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: WriteDoug@Live.com.