Patrick Kennedy: Choking on the Silver Spoon

The old axioms are true. In some cases, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, and in others, the Chivas doesn’t flow far from the Regal.

Yes, another Kennedy did something stupid. So busy is the Kennedy clan looking out for the “working man” that they, in fits of unselfishness, forget to look out for themselves.

The latest, of course, is Patrick Kennedy’s (D-R.I.) joy ride early in the morning where he almost hit a police car and then ran into a barracade.

Police say he appeared intoxicated, but Kennedy blamed the accident on sleep medication and an anti-nausea drug (coincidentally, the same one I take when listening to Kennedy speeches).

Kennedy, son of the esteemed Senator and sedan-surfer Ted Kennedy, will answer questions this afternoon, after he’s fully sober… I mean, after tending to important issues and votes in the House of Reps, the same ones he was late for at 2:45 a.m.

Look for the usual Eddie Haskell-esque performance that the Kennedys pull out when they’re in trouble.

“Good morning, Mr. Cleaver. I’d like to apologize for my behavior. I was suffering disorientation from medication provided to me by the school nurse and taken by me in the prescribed amount. If I’d have known Mrs. Cleaver was married, I would have certainly never conducted myself in that manner, and it will never happen again. Might Wallace be home?”

Here’s a list of just a few of Patrick Kennedy’s run-ins with ivory tower induced idiocy.

The Kennedy’s sure are fighing hard for us workin’ folks aren’t they? They say they fight hard for us, but the facts prove that they instead fight hard with us.

Anybody know the Heimlich Maneuver? Patrick’s choking on the silver spoon.

Oh well, at least he was wearing pants. That’s a positive start.

Late addition: Kennedy stories change more often than Cher backstage at the Bellagio. Patrick Kennedy now says he will check into the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota for treatment for addiction to pain medication. Shortly after the incident, he said it was caused by an anti-nausea medication.

One other thing, Kennedy says no preferential treatment by police was offered, nor was any sought. The only way you can believe that statement is if you believe that if you or I were involved in the same accident under the same circumstances, we would have not only avoided jail, but have gotten a ride home from Capitol officers.


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Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: