The cover story in today’s New York Times tells us everything about the Bill and Hillary Clinton marriage. It’s an inside look at what goes on within the relationship of one of the most powerful couples in the nation in every detail. Before you start to cringe, it’s important to know what actually does go on in the Clinton marriage: nothing.

The effect has been to raise Senator Clinton’s profile on the public radar while somewhat toning down Mr. Clinton’s; he has told friends that his No. 1 priority is not to cause her any trouble. They appear in the public spotlight methodically and carefully: The goal is to position Mrs. Clinton to run for president not as a partner or a proxy, but as her own person.

The genuinely sad part of the Clinton story is that their private lives, or even when they appear together in public, are carefully planned so as to not screw up any of Hillary’s political aspirations. Actually, I think it was included in their marriage vows: “Til campaign season do us part”.

Having to worry about being spotted with your spouse at the wrong time because it could cost you votes should tell us how far it’s all sunk. It’s almost as if the Clintons want to maintain the impression that Bill’s screwing around, and any hint to the contrary would be like catching Batman without his mask. The mystery would be gone, and the Democrat base would wind up like the native islanders after Kong was abducted – lost and godless.

But they do spend time together, according to the story. Enough to maintain the mystique anyway. Not a lot, though:

Mr. Clinton is rarely without company in public, yet the company he keeps rarely includes his wife. Nights out find him zipping around Los Angeles with his bachelor buddy, Ronald W. Burkle, or hitting parties and fund-raisers in Manhattan; she is yoked to work in Washington or New York — her Senate career and political ambitions consuming her time.

Hillary wanting to run for president but not wanting it to appear that she’s riding on her husband’s coattails (shine a black light on that coat before grabbing on for a ride, Hil) is Bill’s dream come true. Now she doesn’t even want him around, even for political reasons but still must maintain a marital facade? Booya, Bill! As a Mel Brooks character once said, “It’s good ta be da King”.

The Clintons are determined to keep their marriage from going to the dogs… again.


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