Monthly Archives: May 2006

Shots Fired Near House of Reps. Office Building?

From the AP:

Shots were fired in the garage of a House office building Friday as police sealed off the neaby Capitol. Capitol police were investigating “the sound of gunfire in the garage level of the Rayburn House Office Building,” said an announcement on the internal Capitol voice alarm system.

The Senate was in session at the time, but the House was not.

An investigation is underway, but is anybody else thinking what I’m thinking? Yep, Cynthia McKinney lost it on another police officer. Either that or Dick Cheney thought he saw a quail.

In any case, congressional offices are expected to be locked down for a while. Hopefully a year or two.

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Update: Looks like it was construction workers who made a racket that sounded like gunfire. Staffers aren’t used to the sound of people laying lumber in the building when Congress is officially out of session.

Jimmy Hoffa Takes the Cake

What happened to Jimmy Hoffa has become one of life’s eternal mysteries, right up there with “where is Amelia Earhart?” and “how exactly does Jesse Jackson earn a living?”

The search for Jimmy Hoffa’s remains continues on a farm in Milford, Michigan. After several days of no success, it looks as if investigators will have better odds of digging up OJ’s other glove than of finding the former Teamster leader.

But the story doesn’t end there.

A bakery in Milford has gained national attention, turning the Hoffa mystery into economic gain. Pictured below is the “Jimmy Hoffa cupcake”.

That’s right. Ol’ Jimmy is still helping the working man, and woman, even from beyond the grave. So, if you can, stop by and support the Milford Baking Company’s pension fund.

Mock FEMA Hurricane Drill Goes Awry, Mock Louisiana Residents Mock Screwed

“Gilligan, you’re doin’ a heckuva job…”

With the needle on the public perception meter already hovering right around the “O.J. Simpson” level, FEMA staged a hurricane drill, and everybody got caught in the swirling eye of confusion:

A mock hurricane exercise in Louisiana was abruptly canceled in the middle of the drill when local and federal officials disagreed over who was in charge of evacuating the largest federally operated trailer park of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita evacuees near Baton Rouge.

This is exactly where Al Haig used to come in handy.

So, the mock drill turned mock ugly, and mock buses got mock soaked again, mock people stood in mock lines for mock gift cards, a mock Geraldo bawled as he did a mock impression of Moses, and the mock mayor vowed in a mock speech to return the city to it’s mock chocolate origin.

Below is a photo taken during the drill, which shows FEMA officials attempting to determine the proper course of action. As you can see, all did not go well.

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The Dixie Chicks Start Eating Their Own

“So, if you’re gonna say goodbye, don’t take all day and night. Let’er rip, let it fly.”
– From “Let ‘er Rip,” sung by the Dixie Chicks

It looks like the hosts of “The View” are taking them up on the above lyrics, and now the Chicks are focusing on other things … like borrowing the “jaws of life” from the local fire department to assist in removing their feet from their mouths, and this time it has nothing to do with George W. Bush. 

When the left starts eating their own like some bleach-blonde Donner Party is when it gets fun. It’s good to know that the Chicks have now rotated, volleyball team style, to take turns in offending people. This time, though, they’ve ticked off some long-time supporters.

From the NY Post:

Dixie Chick Emily Robison has apologized to the women of “The View” for dissing them in Time magazine.

“View” co-host Meredith Vieira read Robison’s mea culpa at the top of yesterday’s show.

“I wanted to write you directly to apologize for my comment in Time magazine. I attempted to explain how much we respect maverick artists like Bruce Springsteen,” Robison wrote. “My intention was not to insult ‘The View,’ and at the time, I was truly just pulling a name out of the air.”

What prompted Robison to start to do so much waffling that she was offered a job by the Eggo people?

Robison was quoted in Time’s Dixie Chicks cover story as saying the group takes its politics very seriously – and how it asks itself, “What would Bruce Springsteen do?”

“Not that we’re of that caliber, but would Bruce Springsteen do ‘The View’? ” Robison said.

The comment infuriated the show’s co-hosts, since “The View” gave The Dixie Chicks their big break in 1998. On Tuesday’s show, Joy Behar tore the Time magazine article to shreds.

It’s fun to watch three women demonstrate that, yes, the “curtains match the carpet,” but only in the sense that neither end contains brains.

I read a comment on a news forum that described the Dixie Chicks as a “rolling wreck”. This is becoming obvious. Once somebody sets off down the trail of controversy, some tend to take swings at whatever comes along, and many times, those can include their supporters. Well, former supporters. This is often the downfall for those who like to stir the shitstorm with their heads. Over time, it soaks in through the ears.

Will the Dixie Chicks be invited to appear on The View again? You bet. Controversy loves company, not to mention the ratings it garners.

Mainstream Media Baez

It would appear that folk activists have opened a ‘branch’ office.

From Reuters:

Folk singer Joan Baez sang “We Shall Overcome” from a tree-top perch in Los Angeles on Wednesday…

Big deal. I saw a guy doing that in the park the other day. The best thing about being an aging singer/activist is that it will be really, really difficult to tell exactly when the dementia kicks in. Always keep ’em guessing, I say.

Baez, 65, who gave voice to civil rights and anti-war campaigners in the 1960s, joined Julia “Butterfly” Hill, an anti-logging activist, in taking up residence in the tree in the 14-acre fruit and vegetable garden in gritty south Los Angeles.

Baez will take shifts occupying the tree with Hill, who spent two years in the late 1990s sitting in a northern California redwood to highlight the plight of ancient forests.

Old headline seekers are now living in trees. Evolution at work. If Darwin was right, pretty soon they’ll start to sprout “impeach Bush” placards from their backs.

"Chief Wana Dubie" Doesn't Bogart That Amnesty

In case you haven’t heard, a favorite pet political candidate of this space is Chief Wana Dubie. I’m a big fan of the Chief because he’s outrageous, crazy, “out there”, and yet would somehow add sanity to politics, which should tell us how far politics and politicians have fallen. Not that I agree with him on most issues, but still, I’d give a week’s pay to see him in the State House.

A couple months ago, I wrote some suggestions for the Chief to use as campaign slogans, and the Chief wrote me and asked for further support. Not being in proximity to a dime-bag, I decided to help in a different way – by pointing out where he’s right and giving him a bit of free publicity.

Here’s one issue the Chief, who is running for Missouri State Rep. as a Libertarian under the slogan is “put a hippie to work in ’06”, has nailed. 

Look at the sign in his left hand.

I couldn’t agree more, Chief. Pass the Doritos, man.

“Chief Wana Dubie” Doesn’t Bogart That Amnesty

In case you haven’t heard, a favorite pet political candidate of this space is Chief Wana Dubie. I’m a big fan of the Chief because he’s outrageous, crazy, “out there”, and yet would somehow add sanity to politics, which should tell us how far politics and politicians have fallen. Not that I agree with him on most issues, but still, I’d give a week’s pay to see him in the State House.

A couple months ago, I wrote some suggestions for the Chief to use as campaign slogans, and the Chief wrote me and asked for further support. Not being in proximity to a dime-bag, I decided to help in a different way – by pointing out where he’s right and giving him a bit of free publicity.

Here’s one issue the Chief, who is running for Missouri State Rep. as a Libertarian under the slogan is “put a hippie to work in ’06”, has nailed. 

Look at the sign in his left hand.

I couldn’t agree more, Chief. Pass the Doritos, man.

Vicente Fox in U.S. – Plans to Give Speech, Vote, Get Medical Checkup, Collect Money, Go Home

Vicente Fox has made the trek from Mexico to the United States, and he is expected to make some comments as soon as he climbs out of the trunk with the others. But seriously…

Mexican President Fox is in Utah at this very moment. It is still unclear at this time whether or not he’s in the country for meetings, or if he just got caught up in the stampede across the border. Whatever is going on, it is definitely not amnesty!

Here’s something rich from the AP story:

Jorge Fierro, a Mexican citizen who has lived in Utah since 1986, hopes Fox addresses how he and future leaders can improve the lives of Mexicans. 

In defense of Vicente Fox, he is helping improve the lives of Mexicans. He’s telling them to go to the United States for the free goodies and doing his best to hold the gate open. Give him a break, Jorge!

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