Monthly Archives: June 2006

Big Apple Terrorism and The New York Times: The Movie

Here’s a well done short film concerning recent history surrounding both terrorism and media. Check it out.

Ann Coulter wrote in a column this week: “When is the New York Times going to get around to uncovering an al-Qaida secret program?”

As soon as there’s a direct threat to the breathing privileges of anybody from The New York Times, that’s when. But that probably won’t happen — why would al-Qaida want to take out an ally?

Judicial Jihadists: Close Gitmo Via Eminent Domain?

Lots of people are speaking out about the Supreme Court’s decision to disallow any military trials for detainees at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. This could essentially mean the release of terror suspects who are being held there.

Some are pulling no punches. Here’s editorial cartoonist Gordon Campbell’s take, from the Daily Bulletin:

Ouch.

This editorial in the Seattle Times disagrees, however. They say the Court was correct to “stop Guantanamo abuses.”

Abuses, such as flushing Korans down the toilet? The “abuse” in that instance came from Newsweek, who ran with a false story.

At any rate, here’s the crux of the Seattle Times editorial:

The ruling on Guantánamo does not say what will happen in the long run to the hundreds of detainees at the prison. Find a way to move them elsewhere. Close the prison and end this sorry chapter in American history.

Well, we could send them back where they came from, but the left would have a fit. Why? Because many of them face prison, torture and/or death if we sent them back where they came from.

So, you see, we’re left with very few options. We can’t keep them at Gitmo, and we can’t send them back home. Okay, I’m forced to change my mind again. First I wrote about closing Gitmo and sending the prisoners (er, “detainees”) to the United Nations. Then I suggested closing Gitmo and sending them to the Supreme Court building.

I’m calling another audible, and now suggesting that we should close Gitmo and send the priso…detainees… to the offices of The Seattle Times. Stock up on prayer rugs and Band-Aids, guys. You got your wish, and here they come!

What about Eminent Domain?

In closing, here’s a brief suggestion for those who think Gitmo should be closed. You obviously have the Court on your side, so how about this: Get a rich liberal, like maybe George Soros, to announce he wants to build a shopping mall where Gitmo stands.

This Supreme Court loves confiscating property via eminent domain. Forget the “human rights” angle, just say you want to build a Baby Gap and Bed, Bath, and Beyond there, and you’ll get your wish. Call it a “Cuburban revitalization project” and it’s a done deal.

——-

Note: If you’re seeing only this post, the entire blog can be accessed at DougPowers.com

How Many Light Bulbs Does It Take To Screw In A Pakistani Inmate?

From the “you know it’s going to be a bad day when…” department:

Fateh Mohammad, a prison inmate in Pakistan, says he woke up last weekend with a glass light bulb in his anus.

On Wednesday night, doctors brought Mohammad’s misery to an end after a one-and-a-half hour operation to remove the object.

Don’t you hate when that happens?

How will prison officials be able to tell who did it? If they’re smart, at midnight, they’ll turn on all cell lights. In the darkened cell is the culprit — there’s also a good chance that Fateh’s ass lights up, too.

Send Gitmo Detainees To Supreme Court Building For Safe Keeping

In a column not long ago, I proposed that we close Gitmo send all terror suspect detainees to the United Nations, but now I’ve changed my mind. We should send them to the U.S. Supreme Court for safe keeping — well, safe for the terror suspects, anyway.

From the A.P.:

The Supreme Court ruled Thursday that President Bush overstepped his authority in ordering military war crimes trials for Guantanamo Bay detainees. The ruling, a rebuke to the administration and its aggressive anti- terror policies, was written by Justice John Paul Stevens, who said the proposed trials were illegal under U.S. law and international Geneva conventions.

This actually means that Salim Ahmed Hamdan, a Yemeni who worked as a bodyguard and driver for Osama bin Laden, could be released, since he’s only got one charge against him — either that or he’ll have to be tried the “regular” way, and not by the military. You know what that means. What are the odds he was read his Miranda rights? Yep, you may be in this guy’s cab in Manhattan before too long. Watch your back, though.

I’ll predict that not only will Hamdan eventually be free, but he’ll end up suing the U.S. government for any second-hand smoke he endured while in the prison.

Chief Justice John Roberts didn’t vote on the decision, because as an appeals court judge he back the government over Hamdan. Heaven forbid we should have anybody familiar with the entire history of the case taking part.

The order to close Gitmo can’t be far behind, and if that happens, I think we should send all the terror suspects housed there to the Supreme Court offices for processing. It’s obviously the only place where they’ll get a fair shake.

Soldiers say that the fight in Iraq and Afghanistan is a tough go because sometimes you can’t tell who your enemy is based on outward appearance. Wait until they get home.

——–

Note: If you’re seeing only this post, the entire blog can be accessed at DougPowers.com

Passing Question for the Anti Flag Burning Amendment Politicians and the Surgeon General

Okay, if it’s legal to burn an American flag in public, what about the second-hand smoke inhalation (or what the Surgeon General might call “passive flag burning“) it may inflict on the rest of us? Shouldn’t somebody speak out? It’s not an issue of patriotism, it’s an issue of public health! Mr. Carmona, there’s only a “c” and an “i” standing in the way of your name becoming “carcinoma.” Do something about this!

A burning flag kills. Sure, “these colors don’t run,” but they might give us cancer if they’re set on fire in public. Think about it, Mr. Surgeon General.

Marine 'Used' By Michael Moore in Fahrenheit 9/11 Killed In Iraq

From the A.P.:

A U.S. Marine and one-time recruiter who appeared in Michael Moore’s acclaimed documentary “Fahrenheit 9/11” has died in a roadside bombing in Iraq.

Although Staff Sgt. Raymond J. Plouhar willingly appeared in a segment of the 2004 film, his father, Raymond, said Tuesday that his son didn’t realize that it was for a movie critical of the war.

Plouhar’s father closed with something that Michael Moore and Cindy Sheehan need to read:

“We need to resolve the war,” he said. “If we walk out now, my son died for nothing and that will make me mad.”

Those among us who use caskets of brave soldiers as leftist soapboxes should heed those words.

To use the deaths, as Sheehan, or lives and deaths, as Moore, of U.S. soldiers who enlisted, and reenlisted, willingly as an anti-war statement is to discredit their beliefs and judgment, not to mention their intellect.

Now another one of America’s finest has died so Michael Moore and company can be free — free to continue to insult their intelligence, both overtly and covertly.

“Support the troops” my ass.

——-

Note: If you’re seeing only this post, the entire blog can be accessed at DougPowers.com

Marine ‘Used’ By Michael Moore in Fahrenheit 9/11 Killed In Iraq

From the A.P.:

A U.S. Marine and one-time recruiter who appeared in Michael Moore’s acclaimed documentary “Fahrenheit 9/11” has died in a roadside bombing in Iraq.

Although Staff Sgt. Raymond J. Plouhar willingly appeared in a segment of the 2004 film, his father, Raymond, said Tuesday that his son didn’t realize that it was for a movie critical of the war.

Plouhar’s father closed with something that Michael Moore and Cindy Sheehan need to read:

“We need to resolve the war,” he said. “If we walk out now, my son died for nothing and that will make me mad.”

Those among us who use caskets of brave soldiers as leftist soapboxes should heed those words.

To use the deaths, as Sheehan, or lives and deaths, as Moore, of U.S. soldiers who enlisted, and reenlisted, willingly as an anti-war statement is to discredit their beliefs and judgment, not to mention their intellect.

Now another one of America’s finest has died so Michael Moore and company can be free — free to continue to insult their intelligence, both overtly and covertly.

“Support the troops” my ass.

——-

Note: If you’re seeing only this post, the entire blog can be accessed at DougPowers.com

At Last, A Car That Undercuts The 100 Pound Barrier

In “small” business news, DaimlerChrysler will soon begin offering a fuel efficient super compact car in the United States called the Smart car. Will it work? They’ve been buzzing around Europe for some time now, but will they survive, literally, in the SUV dominated American roadscape?

This from CNN:

DaimlerChrysler is set to bring the fuel-efficient subcompact Smart car brand to the United States in 2007, according to a published report.

The Detroit News, citing a source familiar with company plans, reported the decision will be announced Tuesday. But a spokeswoman for the Smart brand declined to comment on the report.

Here’s the car:

No, seriously, that’s it. My guess is that the automobile was born of a mid-size sedan that smoked and drank during pregnancy.

The “Smart Car” will be available to the general public as soon as they get all the clowns out of it.

The good news? It’s economical. Instead of having to dispatch diesel-spewing fire trucks and gas hogging ambulances to an accident scene, authorities will only have to send a guy with a hose and half a roll of paper towels. 

No telling how fuel-efficient the car will be on the highway once the funeral procession is factored in, however. The net effect could be about even.

——–

Note: If you’re seeing only this post, the entire blog can be accessed at DougPowers.com

Surgeon General: Quit Smoking — Government: Keep Paying Cigarette Taxes

U.S. Surgeon General Richard Carmona is on a crusade against smoking — specifically, second-hand smoke.

“Exposure to secondhand smoke remains an alarming public health hazard,” Carmona said. “Nonsmokers need protection through the restriction of smoking in public places and workplaces” _ and by smokers voluntarily not puffing around children.

The report won’t surprise doctors. It isn’t a new study but a compilation of the best research on secondhand smoke, the most comprehensive federal probe since the last surgeon general’s report on the topic in 1986, which declared secondhand smoke a cause of lung cancer in nonsmokers.

The first question that came to mind was this: “When did we get a new Surgeon General?” They must have promoted a Surgeon Colonel or Surgeon Lieutenant.

Is the Surgeon General largely the most useless government employee, or what? “Smoking is dangerous,” “pointy things on playgrounds are bad,” “don’t eat yellow snow,” “stay out of the sun,” and other bits of wisdom that any good mother, or Frank Zappa, came up with long ago.

Speaking of “second hand,” what happened to Jocelyn Elders?

Anyway, back to General Carmona’s statements on second-hand smoke.

Yes, cigarettes are bad for you, but how much money per year does the government earn from cigarette taxes? It’s well into the billions of dollars.

As I wrote a while back in my American Spectator column, “Governmental Viscosity Breakdown,” if you’re a fan of irony, there is a petition on the State of Michigan website that you can sign to demand action against high gas prices and obscene oil company profits. Not so oddly enough, I don’t see where they mentioned that the Michigan state worker pension system currently holds $832 million worth of Exxon-Mobil stock.

Well, states do the same thing with tobacco. They invest in it, use some of the dividends to buy ads telling you not to smoke and generally say that smoking is the anti-Christ with a filter, and then they put the rest of the money in various pension funds and as other forms of feed in the public trough.

The point being this: If the government really wants to make an impact and convince us that they were serious, then they’d stop profiting from people killing not only themselves, but others.

Why wouldn’t the government stop profiting from this killer? Because they’ll tell us how much the tax money is used to help the poor (to recover from lung cancer, in some cases).

In other words, it’s the typical double-message. If you smoke, you should quit for your health, but if you do quit, remember, you’re harming public health.

It’s maddeningly normal for the government.

———

Note: If you’re seeing only this post, the entire blog can be accessed at DougPowers.com

Hardened Conservative: Rush Limbaugh Detained for Viagra?

When you’re high on somebody’s “hit list,” you can expect anything to happen at any time.

Earlier tonight, a report from the CBS station in Miami came in that read something like “Rush Limbaugh detained at Miami airport for illegal prescription drugs.”

Limbaugh was returning from the Dominican Republic.

Well, it turns out the “illegal prescription drug” may have been Viagra, and Limbaugh was detained for around three hours (if it lasts more than four hours, consult a physician). The problem is that the prescription was in a doctor’s name instead of Limbaugh’s. Celebrities routinely have this done for privacy reasons. If you’re Rush Limbaugh, however, this could become a big deal, if you’ll pardon the expression. Almost any other celeb could easily skate away from local prosecution.

Yes, get ready for all the Limbaugh/Viagra jokes. “Talent on loan from Pfizer” and whatnot.

If Rush isn’t careful, he’ll give away the illusion that we conservatives only care to get it up when a homeless guy gets evicted from underneath a highway overpass or there are tax cuts for the rich on the backs of the poor.

Limbaugh also needs to remember that his bags are marked items. Just because you have your own jet doesn’t mean you have your own screeners.

So, sit back now and watch the fireworks begin anew as frustrated prosecutors being to angle for misdemeanor charges. This will happen until Rush Limbaugh is totally off everything, including Viagra. Come on, Rush, get completely on the wagon. It isn’t hard.

Easy, big guy, they’re out to get you.

——-

Note: If you’re seeing only this post, the entire blog can be accessed at DougPowers.com