Come Cher the Fun at the Gay Olympics

There may soon be more blowing than ever in The Windy City.

The Gay Games” start tomorrow in Chicago (note: The Westboro Baptist Church will not be in attendance, as they’ll be off protesting at another soldier’s funeral for fighting for the right for Gay Games competitors to remain free to pole vault). I don’t really want to know what the “torch” looks like.

From the Suburban Chicago News:

Tickets were in short supply this week for the opening and closing ceremonies. The two events will feature the pageantry of an Olympics, plus celebrity along the lines of Erasure’s Andy Bell and comedian Margaret Cho at the opening ceremony and Cyndi Lauper helping close the Games.

Tickets for the Saturday night opening ceremony at Soldier Field range from $50 to $150 per seat. Tickets for the closing ceremony, to be held July 22 at Wrigley Field, range from $50 to $90.

So, if you’re looking for gay men, check out Chicago this weekend and next week. It’s a lot cheaper than going to do the same thing at a Barbra Streisand concert.

By the way, you don’t need to be gay to participate. The organizers of The Gay Games put that rule into place for those of us who want our friends to think we’re gay, but aren’t willing to commit to the lifestyle. 

Preview of coming attractions:

Kayakers Sam Oud and Floris Braat, gay competitors in the 2004 Athens Olympics, display some of the action you’re bound to see at the ’06 Gay Games. Don’t keep the shaft in the cockpit and broach the chute, fellas! 

Also, don’t miss the Gay Games Decathlon. The grueling even consists of the 100 meter hop skip and more skipping, javelin throw-pillow, Nathan Lane toss, 110 meter hurdles in heels, dickus throw, rest area pole vault, Elton John clean-and-jerk, Howie Long jump, Judy Garland singalong marathon, and KYacking.

One last request. I’ll personally underwrite the next Gay Olympics if somebody will please throw a shot-put at Margarat Cho and Rosie O’Donnell during the mullet marathon.


Note: if you’re seeing only this post, the entire blog can be accessed at

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: