The War Against Herer: French Police Thwart Attempt to Roll World's Longest Joint

Surprisingly enough, the following story does not involve Willie Nelson.

The perps used a Zig-Zag avoidance maneuver, but it wasn’t enough. French police have brought down the joint, quite literally:

Police in France said they had thwarted an attempt by a group of marijuana smokers to roll the world’s longest joint by seizing a work-in-progress measuring 80 centimetres (32 inches) in length. “At some point, these young people had wanted to craft a joint of 1.12 metres to beat the world record in the discipline and get it officially registered,” said a police officer in eastern France.

The creation of the “world’s longest joint” milestone was intended to go hand-in-hand with the setting of the “world’s most unemployed man” record, but that will have to wait.

They were so close, too. All that was left was to get the Guinness Book of Records people on the phone, but that never happened because the phone wasn’t near the couch, but was rather “way over there on the TV stand…”

Unbelievable– the record attempt was thwarted. This is exactly the kind of fascism that prompted Chief Wana Dubie to run for Missouri state Rep. so as to ensure that this sort of hash-ist culture doesn’t come to middle America. (What? Oh, it’s already here, says Jack Herer.)

This story got me to wondering: What is the longest joint ever rolled? There must be a record of some sort that doesn’t involve a Cheech & Chong movie. The closest I could find was a discussion on a message board from a couple of years ago entitled, creatively enough, “what’s the longest joint you ever rolled?”

Whatever that record is, it’s safe for now, because France has done their part to protect the world from complacent misguided THChronic-heads with too much free time and money.

I always wondered what Parisian Dead-Heads would do once there was no more Grateful Dead to follow around. Now I know.

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Two men are simulating either, A) what the world’s largest joint would have looked like, or B) oral sex on the Sta-Puft Marshmallow Man


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Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: