Republicans, have you hugged Michael Moore today?

The filmmaker and man who wherever you see him, you assume it’s the bus stop, has recently located to Traverse City, Michigan. According to Moore, strange things are happening. Moore says that now more Republicans than ever are hugging him these days.

There are four possible explanations for this. 1) These people are actually rare right-of-center environmentalist tree-huggers who are mistaking Moore for the trunk of a California Redwood. 2) Moore is lying and delusional. 3) He’s put Spanish Fly and beer goggles in the notoriously Republican northern Michigan water supply. Or, 4) he is getting hugs but for a different reason.

I’m guessing it’s #4.  Republicans could be walking up to Moore and saying “thanks!” As in, “thanks for continuing to give Democrats horrible advice.”

What horrible advice? Apparently there’s a hugging theme, because not long ago Moore encouraged Democrat politicians to give a big squeeze to liberal Hollywood:

“Democrats need to embrace Hollywood because this is where they need to come to learn how to tell a story,” said Moore.

Poor Democrats – they’re seeking a “shining city on a hill” and all they get from their consultant is directions to Jonestown.

Future Democrat candidates should embrace Hollywood more? This is one group hug that could ensure Republican control of the government until the sun turns into a white dwarf, plus a few weeks. This could be why Republicans are, in turn, hugging Michael Moore.

Does Moore know how average Americans view many of today’s celebrities? Obviously not, because he’s dished Democrats more bad advice than Miss Cleo.

Go ahead, Democrats, take Moore’s advice and pull closer to Alec Baldwin and Susan Sarandon. After all, those two are past winners of People for the American Way’s “Defender of Democracy” award. Who would have thought that democracy could be defended solely by two actors armed only with lunacy launchers and pointed idiocy?

Take Moore’s advice, Democrats, and wrap your arms tighter around Barbra Streisand and see how much further it carries your political career.

According to Moore, future Democrats seeking election need to give bigger hugs to the likes of Danny Glover and the Fidel Castro bobblehead on the back dashboard of his car, not to mention Rob Reiner, known to many of us as “Meathead” – oh, and he also played the role of Mike Stivic on “All in the Family.”

Moore thinks a stronger and longer Dem-style snuggle needs to go to activist and former “M*A*S*H” star Mike Farrell, co-founder of “artists united to win without war“, and, excluding Hollywood madams, is the only Californian to have the letters “B.J.” as the highlight of his resume. 

Democrat presidential and congressional candidates need to more tightly embosom Ed Asner, the “Yoda” of leftist Malibu Jedi, and Sean Penn, who plays second-chair snivelhorn for Martin Sheen and his All-Bohemian Orchestra.

Michael Moore consistently encourages Democrats to embrace political dynamite and/or play Russian Roulette with a bullet in every chamber. This would, if true, go a long way toward explaining why Republicans are hugging Michael Moore.

“Attention Republicans, Mr. Moore is now available for a hug. Anyone? …. anyone?”

———

Note: If you’re reading only this post, the entire blog can be accessed at DougPowers.com

 

Comments

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.