The senator from… where is she from now? Oh yeah, New York. Hillary Clinton has said that Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld should resign for failing to deliver on the war Hillary voted for.

Here’s what Hillary said:

“I just don’t understand why we can’t get new leadership that would give us a fighting chance to turn the situation around before it’s too late,” the New York Democrat and potential 2008 presidential contender said in an interview with The Associated Press. “I think the president should choose to accept Secretary Rumsfeld’s resignation.”

I think a politician going into an election cycle who asks somebody in the opposing administration to resign should be indicted for illegal solicitation of a campaign donation.

Hillary has voted for the war, voted to not set a deadline for troop withdrawal, and repeatedly votes to continue funding the war — even the war as it exists under the man she accuses of failing. All things being equal, which person is the bigger failure?

Just for fun…The Hillary Quiz

Here’s a little quiz I wrote a few years ago for the people who really respect Hillary and would like to grow up to be just like her (both of them). It’s more topical than ever, given that Hillary is already campaigning for president.

Answer the questions and then check your score on the “Hill-o-meter” at the end to see if you’ve really got what it takes to be just like the smartest women in the world.

1) You’re a Yale-educated woman, lawyer and first lady of the United States. Your husband is a notorious philanderer, and a story comes out in the media that he’s been cheating on you with a young intern. You say you didn’t believe the story until he told you it was true.  Are you:

A) Lying?

B) Incredibly stupid?

C) Practicing blind loyalty by believing whatever he tells you, which is why you think those 15 copies of ‘Leaves of Grass’ that the Fed Ex guy brings every month are really for you?

2) You get an $8 million book advance, which naturally isn’t enough money to motivate you to write a book all by yourself.  How many ghostwriters must you hire?

A) Two or three.

B) So many that you’ll need an exorcism to get them all out of your office.

C) Just Jayson Blair.

3) You’ve got a big pudding sack of a brother who’s a lawyer, and the fact that he’s obtained $400,000 in legal fees for his work on pardons while your husband is president becomes public. Do you make him give the money back, and if so, why?

A) Yes, but only after getting caught.

B) Yes.  I’m shocked that a family member would do anything crooked, even though he needed the money, and was going to buy Roger a new chrome hitch for his house.

C) No, because he already blew the money on 201,000 bags of pork rinds.

4) You discover your husband has been treating the uvula of an intern like a pinata on Cinco de Mayo. After you learn about this, you describe how you felt by saying, “I could hardly breathe” and “gulping for air.” You are:

A) Enraged he had been so careless as to allow it to become public.

B) Shocked that he cheated on you.

C) Empathizing with the young intern’s ordeal.

5) You find out that the deputy White House counsel, who is also a close friend from Arkansas and had access to all of your records and knowledge of all your dealings, has died. What’s the first thing you do?

A) Stand up so fast you hit your head on the bottom of one of his file cabinet drawers.

B) Immediately call friends and family to tell them the bad news.

C) Run in to his office and pray that his computer password is still “IWork4Crooks.”

6) Your book and J.K. Rowling’s latest book are on sale, but a buyer can only afford one of them. What do you say when that buyer approaches you and asks you to differentiate the two?

A) “Secret Service!”

B) “Mine is an important and frank discussion about issues of historical importance.”

C) “One is a fictional book about a wizard who’s surrounded by warlocks and monsters, and the other one is the next in the ‘Harry Potter’ series.”

7) You want your daughter to witness a strong, loving marriage, so you:

A) Don’t get a divorce, hoping she and the rest of the country thinks it’s because you’re committed to family, and then use the “put-upon-but-loyal wife” label for political gain.

B) Go to marriage counseling to work things out.

C) Find somebody with a strong, loving marriage and see if she can move in with them.

8) You’re a cold, calculating, manipulative senator and former first lady determined to let nothing get in the way of your ambition. What should the title of your book be?

A) “How a steely, lifeless, devoid of conscience stare can be just as good as a gun.”

B) “A list of minorities and religions I’m sucking up to so I can be president, even the f&$#%#g Jew bastards.”

C) “Surrounded by History: The original Declaration, a bust of Jefferson, priceless White House china and flatware … and all in my Chappaqua living room.”

9) Barbara Walters asks you which tree you and your husband most closely associate yourselves with. You answer:

A) Maple.

B) Blue Pine.

C) Charlie.

10) This quiz should end with:

A) A tax audit of the author.

B) Questions about Travelgate and Whitewater.

C) A call to a ghostwriter to ask him what answer “C” should be.

Hill-o-meter rating:

The correct answers were all “A.” If you got 8 to 10 questions correct, pack your bags for Wellesley!  Two to 7 questions correct, you’re at “work on it” status. To get yourself to a higher rating on the “Hill-o-meter,” mix one part Betty Friedan with two parts Chomsky, sprinkle on some NPR, drink twice a day and take the quiz again in a month. If you didn’t get any correct, congratulations!


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