When discussing global poverty and hunger, there is invariably somebody at the table who is of the ”money will solve all problems so why not just redistribute some wealth” mentality.

For those people, I wonder how they would solve this problem. Many think that there are now more overweight people on earth than undernourished. This seems to be causing a panic, but in the world of problems, it’s a good problem to have. Terrorism? Phooey. Bird flu? Nuts. Iran with nukes? Dog piddle. Twinkies? Run for your lives!

Anybody remember the song “Feed the World“? Well, we sure did heed that advice, didn’t we? Now the “Band Aid” people are going to have to hastily put together a song called, “For the love of God, stop feeding the world already!”

There are now over a billion obese people on the planet. The problem is reaching a degree where if we all fall down in the shower simultaneously, we’ll knock the earth out of its orbit. It’s that serious.

Here’s a good socialist solution to the entire looming lard-ass pandemic: A fat transfer program, or a “redistribution of health” as it will come to be known.

But wait, you can’t have a “looming dangerous health problem” without somebody wanted to start regulating everything with the exception of personal responsibility. This appears toward the end of the story:

Experts at the conference said governments should impose bans on junk food advertising aimed directly at children, although they acknowledged such restrictions were unlikely to come about soon because the food industry would lobby hard against them.

“There is going to be a political bun fight over this for some time, but of course we shouldn’t advertise junk food to children that makes them fat,” said Dr. Boyd Swinburn, a member of the International Obesity Task Force.

Addressing the problem of childhood obesity by banning the advertising of junk food is a little like hoping that the removal of the drug store condom display will make people stop wanting to have sex (which will be the way these same people address an “overpopulation problem” as soon as they tackle global big-butt syndrome).

I can’t help but wonder what the training regimen is in order to become a member of the “International Obesity Task Force.” Sure, a lot of guys probably lie and say they’re members just for the chicks, but what you need to do to qualify for the IOTF? Chase, tackle, and hogtie Louie Anderson?

By the way, you know who else is very concerned about the health of our dangerously tubby children and is calling for huge shifts of U.S. budget money to fight diabetes and heart disease? Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream. They’d accomplish more toward this goal by simply going out of business than by any other single act of government.

Optimism is the answer


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