Oprah Winfrey hasn’t filed a cease and desist order since way back when John Kerry wouldn’t stop begging her to marry him. Now her “people” have filed one against a guy who has a website urging Oprah to run for President.

If you think about it, the upside for some, and the downside for the rest of us, in an Oprah Winfrey presidency would be the weekly national jammy parties and State of the Union speeches consisting of book club reviews and relationship pointers from Dr. Phil.

There would be no global problem so large that it couldn’t be solved by a Maya Angelou poem.

It would appear that none of this, however, is destined to occur, at least not until the proper confiscatory licensing fees are paid.

Every celebrity is urged, at some point or other, to run for political office. Oprah is no different, but, as Bob Hope used to give as a reason when urged to run for the Oval Office, probably doesn’t want to move into a smaller house.

As I mentioned, there’s a guy out there who wants Oprah to run for President. Here’s his website. There’s even an “official” campaign theme song. Oh my. Stop breaking the Thorazine in half, kid — time for the full dose. Doctor’s orders.

Well, Oprah is having none of any of this president stuff. The person running the website has been sent this cease and desist order. As of now, he has yet to comply. Mess with the Oprah (or more appropriately put, mess with Oprah’s licensing) and you’re in a world of hurt, pal! Even Oprah’s mirror has to pay her every time it shows her reflection.

The header of his site says “Oprah for President ’08: Somebody we can both love and trust.”

Good luck with getting Oprah to run for President, dead man! Mess with all the love and you’ll get the smackdown of a lifetime. Trust me.

What could possibly go wrong? – Hey, isn’t that Donna Summer?


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