“Politician” and “ethical” go together about as well as “pitbull” and “vegetarian,” so I don’t know why we’re surprised when the two terms don’t fit well hand-in-hand, but still, it really is about time to flush the inside-the-beltway toilet and start all over.

There are way too many floaters in there, and on both sides of the aisle. It won’t happen though, because the handle is heavily guarded.

The troubled politician du jour is Florida Republican Rep. Mark Foley, who recently resigned after it had been discovered he had been sending suggestive emails to male pages, all under the age of 18. The just dessert, so to speak, could be that the Congressman, who was the co-chairman of the Congressional Missing and Exploited Children’s Caucus, could be prosecuted under the very laws he helped enact, but I doubt it.

So many laws passed by Congress are like computer software programs – the designer is usually careful to craft his or her handiwork with more person loopholes than the wall between the high school wood shop and the girls locker room.

I made an earlier prediction and said that Foley will pull a Pete Townsend here and say that he was simply conducting “research” for his job. He takes it that seriously. Here are some of Foley’s “alleged” email chats in PDF. If it was research, he was being really comprehensive and not just jerking around.

Foley is halfway toward making that claim, since he’s now entered alcohol rehab and is, of course, blaming his problems on his “disease.” This is an interesting angle. “One drink I’m fine, but five vodka martinis and I’m a gay pedophile.” Hey, who can’t relate to that? 

So the question remains, how could a Congressman, co-chairman of the Congressional Missing and Exploited Children’s Caucus, think he could get away with all this? Because when you’re elected to Congress you’re offered, and most accept, a free compunction bypass operation. Sex scandals with congressional pages have happened before, to the point where they had to completely overhaul the Congressional Page Program to include iron britches with padlocks and anti-shark cages for the kids, among other safeguards.

The fact is that too many members of Congress think they’re untouchable kings and queens. They write laws they don’t have to live by, but the rest of us do. They get loaded and get into accidents, and instead of receiving a sobriety test and spending the night in the slammer, they’re driven home by police. They lie to us on a daily basis but if you lie to them you’ll go to jail. They take bribes and stuff them in a freezer and not only stay out of jail, but remain free to fight for their political career. Hell, they even kill their constituents with no jail time, when you or I would still be rotting in prison

Segments of Congress also seem to have a “moth to bug zapper” attraction to congressional pages, and what happens when they get caught? They revamp the Page Program instead of revamping the quality of individual that can enter Congress.

Almost every day you hear some member of Congress speak of the elusive “bipartisanship.” This rarely, if ever, occurs. The only time you can count on it is when it comes to ensuring that there is one set of laws for Congress, and a different set for the rest of us. It seems that corruption is the only true bipartisan effort.

Sure, there are some sacrificial lambs from both parties every now and again, which Foley may end up being, but I have a feeling they’re taken down not because their fellow politicians are disgusted by their crime, but because they were way too overt in giving up the secret location of the bat cave.

Oh, as a side note, there’s a grown man out there hitting on young boys and both sides of the aisle are concerned with what? How this will cost or benefit them politically. Your honor, I rest my case.


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