As ratings sink like Ted Kennedy in a kayak, the heat is on over at CBS News:

As you can see, some changes may already be in the works at CBS, but I have a better idea than simply dragging Walter Cronkite out of Martha’s Vineyard mothballs. The suits at CBS have already proven they’re willing to put on a blindfold and throw darts at a board, so perhaps they’re ready for this…

Sunday night on VH1, 7.5 million people wached the finale of “Flavor of Love 2,” the show where the founder of Public Enemy and apparent victim of genetic tinkering, Flavor Flav, goes on a hunt for the woman with the thickest beer goggles in the country.

The CBS Evening News with Katie Couric, after running first for a couple of days due to the tuning in of the curious, got about 7.3 million viewers per night last week, and about 2 million of those were people who were just way early for “Survivor.” Couric and the CBS Evening News is solidly back right where Dan Rather left it: in third.

Around 200,000 more people watched Flavor Flav than Katie Couric on any given night, and on cable no less. I do indeed hope that Flav is topping Couric’s $15 million salary, but I doubt it.

So, why not try Flavor Flav, CBS? This could go over better than my earlier suggestions for the ”CBS Evening Blog“ or considering former Iraqi Information Minister extraordinaire, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, better known as “Baghdad Bob,” to anchor the news.

Think about the possibilities. And there would be a built-in “60 Minutes” promotion in the entire newscast, since CBS could just replace the clock around Flav’s neck with a big stopwatch.

CBS needs to do something, because they’re certainly on the wrong, not to mention wildly expensive, track now. And we thought there would never be a sequel to “Waterworld.”

“Comin’ up on ‘Eye on America,’ that Mark Foley is one messed up mo-fo, yeah boyeee!


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