Oh bloody hell! PETA’s getting naked again.

Here’s why:

Animal cruelty campaigners, who shot to fame with anti-fur adverts featuring naked supermodels, are planning to take on their most ambitious target yet: Britain’s 2.6 million anglers.

Fish, insists Peta – People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals – are “complex and intelligent individuals”, cleverer than monkeys, who feel pain “like every other animal”. So they are preparing posters and lining up celebrities, and models dressed as mermaids, to try to persuade lovers of Britain’s most popular sport to end the “terror and suffering”.

Cleverer than monkeys? The message is clear. We should be catching and eating more monkeys.

So, British animal rights protesters will be shedding clothing? I guess it won’t be so bad as long as they don’t show their teeth.

I’ve pondered in the past whether or not fish feel pain, and I don’t know for sure the answer to that – but I do know that it’s not nearly as painful as that inflicted by naked activists, and I’m a “humans first” kind of guy. Also, if fish are remotely smart, it seems as if, after centuries of being caught, they’d start to figure out what that hook does.

“I say old chap, Aristotle once said, ‘For the things we have to learn before we can do them, we learn by doing them,’ but that bloody wanker wouldn’t have lived to say that if he’d taken a lure just once.”


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