Get ready for every domain name to be some variation of “BumblingFools-dot-com.”
The future of the net is the ambitious topic under discussion at the first global Internet Governance Forum, being held in Athens over the next five days.
It has been set up by the UN to give governments, companies, organisations and individuals space for debate.
You’ll never guess what the stated goal is of the coming “hard drive for food” program… or maybe you will:
The four key agendas for the conference are security, diversity, openness and access.
It doesn’t matter if the United Nations is discussing Iraq, Israel, Darfur or the Internet, their agenda always ends up sounding like some variation of Berkeley, California city council regulations for constructing a WalMart.
Why is regulation taking so long?
Why has this big source of potential revenue for theÃ‚Â United NationsÃ‚Â been just sitting there untapped? The United Nations is a couple of decades behind the technological curve. It isn’t thatÃ‚Â they don’tÃ‚Â want to catch up, it’s that they can’t. TheÃ‚Â U.N. is not unlike a larger version of the U.S. government — they’re trying to win a potato sack race with tens of Ã‚Â thousands of people in the same bag. The attractive feature of monstrous bureaucracy has always been that it corners like an aircraft carrier in dry-dock, making it fairly easy for the fleet-afoot masses to out maneuver.
World governments have been caught off guard by the power ofÃ‚Â the InternetÃ‚Â andÃ‚Â have spent the last few years staring atÃ‚Â it in confused amazement like cockatoos with a new mirror. As their understanding is slowly developing,Ã‚Â governments led by the U.N. areÃ‚Â in the process of inventing “cyber hands” to grab a chunk of this cyber power, not to mention real cash.
This is really about two things: Money, of course, and the monitoring of a new breed of reporterÃ‚Â — mouse-wielding muckraker who can threaten the very existence of the United Nations and varied governments: The blogger.
Some bloggers, like revolutionary era pamphleteers gone high-tech, are the 21st century’s answer to Thomas PaineÃ‚Â — A Paine-in-the-rump to many world governments along withÃ‚Â a U.N., but quite welcome when they’re helping raise money or promoteÃ‚Â the globalistÃ‚Â agenda. Because of this, regulation will proceed slowly and carefully. Those charged with implementing a U.N. cyber-hijacking will have to see to it that it acts as the Grecian Formula of cyberspace: “The change was so gradual, nobody noticed.”
Hard drives for food
Yes, a U.N. attempted takeover of the Internet could be on the way. “From the people who brought you ‘Oil-for-food’!”
You remember the oil-for-food scam don’t you?
The United Nations’ “Oil-for-Food” program, which began in 1996, permitted Saddam Hussein to sell oil, provided that the revenue went for food, medicine and other necessities. It was a deal between the world’s largest, doofiestÃ‚Â bureaucracy and one of the planet’s most crooked and ruthless dictators. What could possibly go wrong?
Of course, it turned out that Hussein was skimming money off the top, and bottom for that matter. Skimming? More like building a dam. The General Accounting Office estimated that Hussein’s regime netted over $10 billion. The psychotic-yet-most-entrepreneurial mustachioed one who had a destiny with a spider hole was, with a lot of help, inflating prices on humanitarian imports, which allowed him to sell that much more oil and keep the extra for himself and whoever else was involved (::cough:: UN ::cough::). High markups, high profits and skimmingÃ‚Â — Iraq had become a 172,000 square mile jewelry store run by Jimmy Hoffa. Kofi Annan’s son was receiving money from a company monitoring this winner of a program.
Now that theÃ‚Â cash flow from that little gem has dried up, it’s on to the Internet.
The next great rallying cry of the patriotÃ‚Â may be, “They can have my mouse when they pry it from my cold, dead hand.”
The good news for the time being is that, as with the case with any laws, they must be backed up by force. The United Nations force as of this moment consists of 200 Frenchmen in blue helmetsÃ‚Â riding inÃ‚Â three unarmedÃ‚Â tanks, Jimmy Carter with a hammer, and Ted Turner recklessly swinging a bag of money at imaginary flies. And I say that with the utmost security, diversity, openness and access.
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