Paul R. Nelson’s Attack Ads Make Your Favorite Candidate’s Attack Ads Look Like Pussies

Republican Paul R. Nelson is running for the House of Representatives against Democrat incumbant Ron Kind in Wisconsin.

Check out this ad Nelson is running on his website.

Here’s part of the text: “Ron Kind has no trouble spending your money, he’d just rather spend it on sex. That’s right. Instead of spending money on cancer research, Ron Kind voted to spend your money to study the sex lives of Vietnamese prostitutes. Instead of spending money to study heart disease, Ron Kind spent your money to study the masturbation habits of old men … Ron Kind even spent your tax dollars to pay teenage girls to watch pornographic movies with probes connected to their genitalia. Ron Kind pays for sex but not for soldiers.”

If this is true, Ron Kind would make a great university administrator, not to mention have a shot at having his campaign entirely funded by the National Endowment for the Arts.

Congratulations to Paul R. Nelson, winner of this year’s “best attack ad to mention Vietnamese prostitutes, masturbation, transgenders, sex, genitalia and pornographic movies.” This is politics’ answer to “hitting for the cycle” in baseball.

God I love this game!

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: