To John Kerry: Thanks For The October Surprise — Signed, GOP

There are no Freudian slips that are more hilarious than those of liberal elitist gigolos who try to sport a cheap wooden facade of working class America. Their real feelings are like snakes in a hole — eventually they slither out — and somehow even manage to set that facade on fire.

John Kerry is taking plenty of heat for his comment to some college students that they had better study hard or else they might end up “stuck in Iraq.” If these particular students do indeed study hard, they’ll learn that there isn’t a military draft and they can’t be “stuck” doing anything they didn’t sign up for. So Kerry’s advice, if heeded, actually helps expose John Kerry for what he is: a power hungry politician ruling from an ivory tower.

There was no mention of President Bush in that particular portion of Kerry’s speech, and yet Kerry is, of course, claiming that it was obvious he was talking about President Bush and not the military. You be the judge. (Not counting being stuck in an elevator with Barney Frank, YouTube has got to be a politicians worst nightmare, don’t you think?)

Now Kerry is refusing to apologize, as he claims he wasn’t referring to the military, and that it was a botched joke, not unlike his nomination for president.

What was the joke? Who knows. Perhaps it was this: “The doctor told Teresa, ‘you have acute angina’, and Teresa said, ‘hey, thanks!'” But one thing is for certain; something went horribly awry for Kerry.

I don’t think Kerry should apologize for telling the truth as he sees it. A congressional liberal with truth integrity is a rare thing, so let it stand.

When we stop to think about it, why wouldn’t Kerry dislike the military, in spite of the fact he once served? The military as it exists today votes overwhelmingly Republican. Could this be the source of Kerry’s not so well hidden discontent and opinion that people serving overseas are idiots?

Much of the left views the U.S. soldier as having discovered an entirely new level of dim-wittedness — a doofy outlook perhaps deserving of the mockery that often takes place, even from somebody like John Kerry who describes himself ad nauseam as “one of their own.”

Of course, in John Kerry’s eyes, if you’re Republican, you’re also pro-Bush. This is where Kerry really loses it as it concerns the military. To be led into an unjust war by a moron is one thing, but for those same people to vote for that moron, especially over John Kerry, and in droves, makes the military reprehensibly imbecilic in leftist eyes. Given this, we shouldn’t be shocked when the venom finds a way out once in a while.

You know that Kerry’s in big trouble here because his fellow Democrats have scattered like cockroaches when the light comes on. I have yet to see anybody defending Kerry. The guy’s political Kryptonite and he can expect to be kept at a safe distance at the next inside-the-beltway cotillion.

Another unique feature of Senator Kerry is his ability to keep around his old military uniform — not because he’s proud of his service, but rather because he often needs it to hide behind.

A military uniform to John Kerry is like a goalie for criticism. Dare question Kerry’s inane comments, and he’ll immediately remind you (again) that he wore the uniform, thus implying he has far more right than you to speak unchallenged. Veterans and active members of the United States military should and probably do find this disturbing.

It’s a uniform, not a “get out of stupidity free” card. I never served in the military, and yet still have some say in what goes on via a vote. But that’s the entire point, isn’t it? Our soldiers throughout history didn’t fight and die so John Kerry can say whatever he wants — they fought and died so we can all say what’s on our mind, including having the freedom to call John Kerry a duplicitous, elitist demogoging bonehead.

If only current and former service members should have a say and go without criticism in Kerry-land, then maybe they should be the only ones who have a right to vote. What say you, Senator Kerry? Fair warning, however: If this is the case, there will be nary a Democrat to be found in Washington. This is further reason to adore the military, not to mention conclusive evidence that they are, indeed, highly intelligent.

I applaud the service of every member of the military, including that of John Kerry, but for the latter, it’s been all downhill since then. It’s a shame how, for some people, a desperate quest for power can cloud the real meaning of the uniform and all it symbolizes.

The difference between the current and former members of the military that I know, and John Kerry, is that the former served on behalf of all of us — from the most powerful in business and politics down to the weakest, most innocent child. John Kerry served, apparently, for himself, and it continues to this day.

Muhatma Ghandi once said, “the best test of a civilized society is the way it treats its most vulnerable and weakest members” — not how many times they are shown John Kerry’s old uniform and told to shut up because they have no right to speak.

I don’t know what’s going to happen on election day, but I have a feeling there may well be a delivery made next Wednesday to one of Teresa Heinz’s mansions, in which is housed the Massachusetts senator. It might be a large floral arrangement along with a card that reads, “To John Kerry: Thanks for the October surprise — signed, GOP”


Note: If you’re seeing only this post, the entire blog can be accessed at

Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: