The Passion of the Pantsuit: Hillary Is Like The Second Coming of Christ?

Hold on to your hat, because this is in the New York Times today:

Probably the juiciest power lunch of the week unfolded at the Four Seasons yesterday as Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton sized up her 2008 presidential chances with none other than the Republican power broker Alfonse M. D’Amato, with former Mayor Edward I. Koch merrily riding shotgun.

Then later:

The restaurant’s Grill Room, usually filled with power lunchers, where Vernon Jordan and Sanford Weill were among the patrons yesterday, began buzzing madly when Mrs. Clinton walked in around 1, the two men said, and about 25 people came by to say hello as she was preparing to leave at 3.

“It was like the Second Coming of Christ,” said Julian Niccolini, the co-owner.

The Second Coming of Christ? Wow. For somebody who probably sees Paris Hilton, Mario Cuomo, George Clooney and Donald Trump fairly regularly, this is saying something!

Before laughing, we should first be appreciative that a liberal (Mr. Niccolini was observed wearing a Hillary button) is admitting that there was indeed a first coming of Christ.

This got me to wondering how this particular Second Coming of Hillary might be described in a New-New Testament. Probably a little like the resurrection, but with a twist, like this:

And the DNC said one to another, ‘who shall roll us back the stone from the door of the sepulchre?’ And looking, they saw the stone rolled back, which caused someone a severe back injury – prompting discussions on long-term disability legislation.

And entering into the sepulchre, which turned out to be a Four Seasons, they saw a young man sitting on the right side, adorned with a “Hillary for President” button and “nobody died when Clinton lied” t-shirt: and they were astonished. Who saith to them: Be not affrighted, you seek Hillary of Chappequa, who was buried for years in the Ozarks, but she is risen: she is not here. Don’t question this fact, for she has your FBI file.

But go, tell her disciples at the union hall that she goeth before you into DC. There you shall see her, from a great distance, as she told you.

But they going out, fled from the Four Seasons: for a trembling and fear had seized them, for they realized they were standing on a tarp and dangerously near Ft. Marcy Park. And they said nothing to any man: for they were afraid — their computer hard drives were missing.

But she rising early the first day of the week, appeared first to Mary Matalin; out of whom Hillary had cast seven devils but let James Carville remain, for she would need him to run her presidential campaign.

And she gathered the disciples together and served them loaves and fishes on china marked “Property of the White House.”

And she said to them: Go ye into the whole world and preach national health care to every creature, then purchase property, sell them lots for double-wides and land-flip until the property values are an artificially high number, harming the meek, but they’ll inherit the earth anyway so it doesn’t matter. Use thy proceeds to tythe to my campaign for the good of all God’s creations, then foreclose on the residents and repeat thy procedure.

And she said to them: There shall be no more sadness; And there shall be no more gagging interns; And there shall be no more tax breaks for the wealthy; And there shall be no more Wal-Mart; And there shall be no more people pointing out that I used to be on the Board of Directors of the devil’s company; And there shall be no more people questioning my motives. These things we will do for the children.

**Major apologies to Mark, Chapter 16


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Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: