Google To Help Build Giant Telescope, Make Contact With Alien Search Engines

This is cool. Soon everybody will be able to search for supernovas that look like Eva Longoria sunbathing and set up auto-alerts for whenever objects in the Oort cloud are arranged so as to accidentally spell out a word that sort of looks like “Brangelina.”

Google is helping build a telescope.

The Internet search company has struck a partnership with scientists building a huge sky-scanning telescope, with hopes of helping the public access digital footage of asteroids, supernovas and distant galaxies…

…The 8.4-meter LSST is expected to begin surveying the sky in 2013, from a mountaintop in Chile. Its goal is to continuously scan space, taking a series of 15-second exposures that allow it to cover the sky every three nights.

Why are they doing this? Demand!

Just take a look at the top 10 Google News searches of 2006:

  1. paris hilton
  2. orlando bloom
  3. cancer
  4. podcasting
  5. hurricane katrina
  6. bankruptcy
  7. martina hingis
  8. autism
  9. 2006 nfl draft
10. celebrity big brother 2006

So you see, everybody is into peering into the heavens, and Google plans to deliver. By the way, it would appear that if Orlando Bloom and Paris Hilton are ever podcasting about their cancer experiences while filing for bankruptcy during a hurricane, Google headquarters will explode.

But here’s the fun part from the Googlescope story:

…Google’s involvement raises questions about whether it sees the resulting space images as a cash cow, said Stephen Maran, spokesman for the American Astronomical Society. He said, “Maybe they’ll be selling ads next to the Orion Nebula or something.”

Won’t happen. Why? Because by the time the Google telescope is complete, the Orion will already be called the “Trump Nebula.”

Artists conception, above, of a man using the cutting edge technology of the Google telescope to download interactive extraterrestrial pornography


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Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: