The Tigger Defense Fund: A Brat’s Mind is a Terrible Thing To Waste

“Down goes punk kid! Down goes punk kid!”

It’s clear that somebody needs to start a “Tigger Defense Fund,” because one of our favorite Disney characters deserves solid backing in his time of crisis (though he’s already represented by the Teamsters). Why? Because Tigger does more parenting before 9 a.m. than some parents do their entire lives.

This “Tigger Defense Fund” would protect those people who shine the light, not to mention orange padded gloved fist, of justice on kids whose parents don’t have the wherewithal to do it themselves. At the same time this will help the children in question recognize that they live in the real world, and not the lawsuit-happy Shang Gra La their parents are doing them no favors in constructing around them.

By now we’ve all heard that Tigger is a rogue thug and child abuser. We’ve heard about this from a man who’s raising his kids, whether he knows it or not, to be little snot-nosed disrespectful doofuses — kids who may well end up in jail someday (where “Hundred Acre Wood” takes on a much different meaning) because their father’s a greedy attention whoring buffoon who’s raising a brood of pussified brats.

Here’s the story:

A confrontation between a costumed Tigger and a child at Walt Disney World that led to a sheriff’s investigation and the suspension of the character is grabbing national headlines and was featured on CBS’s ‘The Early Show’ Monday.

The incident happened over the weekend when Jerry Monaco, of New Hampshire, and his family visited Disney-MGM Studios. During a photo with a “Tigger” character, the man in the costume, Michael J. Fedelem, was videotaped apparently throwing a punch at Monaco’s son, Jerry Jr., Local 6 reported.

Monaco said he took his son to the hospital Saturday to be treated after the alleged hit.

Here’s a video of the tragic mauling. And to think that Saddam Hussein had to swing while Tiggers like this are still allowed on the streets.

Dude, if your kid was taken to the hospital for that, God help him if he’s ever in a pillow fight. He’ll be in traction for a month. Not only that, but going on national television to tell the world that your boy was busted up due to a love-tap from Tigger isn’t bound to go over well with his school mates (and if that goes badly, rest assured a separate lawsuit will be pending).

“Disney’s supposed to be a safe place,” said the father. “You don’t come here for this.”

Yeah, not like the good old days when your out-of-control brat kids could go and yank on the back of the costumes of the characters at the park and the character didn’t react, nor did the parent tell their kid to stop being a dickweed.

If the guy who was in the Tigger costume is to be criticized for anything, it’s that he didn’t smack this future homicidally frustrated paper-hat wearing McDonalds assistant manager trainee nearly hard enough.

When this kid ends up naked atop a clock tower with a rifle, it won’t be Tiggers fault, but his parents.

We see these out-of-control kids all the time. Coincidentally, there’s a study just out that says one-third of parents in North America don’t think their methods of disciplining their children work well. Well gee whiz, maybe it’s because too many of them don’t discipline their kids at all.

This all isn’t just about the child, it’s about a parent who’s teaching his kid the worst lesson of all: If anything bad happens, especially if you precipitated it, it’s not your fault and the other party should pay you money.

These are the parents who should go to jail for child abuse, right alongside those who still let their kids visit Michael Jackson alone.

If you spank your kid in some states, you’re subject to discipline by the state, but if you raise your child in such a manner that could cause them to grow up to think their negative actions don’t have anything but positive consequences, you might as well drive your kid to prison right now. That’s child abuse.

It’s a sad day indeed when a guy in a friggin’ Tigger costume is doing the job a parent should be doing — and getting in trouble for it to boot.

Let’s defend Tigger — because it’s the right thing to do for all parties involved. Kids need to learn that life isn’t always bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy, Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun! — no matter what their parents may try to demonstrate to them.

If this moronic and neglectful parent is rewarded for this, I hope there’s a walkout of all the characters at Disneyworld. The picket line itself would be worth the price of admission.

Punk in question, above left, in training to play the “Sid” in the live-action version of “Toy Story”


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Author: Doug Powers

Doug Powers is a writer, editor and commentator covering news of the day from a conservative viewpoint with an occasional shot of irreverence and a chaser of snark. Townhall Media writer/editor. alum. Bowling novice. Long-suffering Detroit Lions fan. Contact: